Rearranging the Deck Chairs

I go to see my psychiatrist this morning. In the waiting room was an article on breast cancer. I was reading it when he called me in. He said that I looked a little perplexed and wanted to know what my expression was about.

I really wish he couldn't read me as well as he can! My pastor couldn't read me to save his (my?) life! Dr. M ... reads me like a large print book, with footnotes!

So, I tell him about our church secretary. He says that it must hit hard ..the emotions that are normal of 'how it could have been me' ...and I'm looking at him like he's from Mars ... and he reminds me that a year ago they were doing repeated mamograms and a biopsy on me. DUH! I'd TOTALLY forgotten!

I told him ...no, I was worried about how this was going to effect her, her family, her daughter, her son and his family. Her granddaughter is one of my sons best friends. How it will effect her friend, one of our small group members. She's the glue that holds our church together.

How is our pastor going to cope? He has a wife with Lupus, and a daughter with Down's Syndrome. His parent's marriage of
58 years almost fell apart last year ...
How in the world is this going to effect him? The church has major budget issues. He's under enough stress without this being added to his already overloaded shoulders!

Her granddaughters, have such tender hearts and they ADORE their grandmother! How this is going to hurt them so!

He looked at me and said "so, you're not identifying with her, which is what you SHOULD be doing ... You've gone into CARETAKER MODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know, you'd have been rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic!"

I burst out laughing ... but I have the sneaking suspicion ...that he's right!