It's not over

So, it appears that my homeschooling days are not over. While the decision hasn't officially been made, my husband is pushing, ironic considering that it was me who was pushing a few weeks ago. We were supposed to wait and make the final decision after we talked to our pastor tomorrow, but I think Don's made up his mind now. (Ironic since it will be me doing all the work.)
We have all the materials we need. When we cleaned out the storage shed so that we don't have to move the stuff next year, we found a whole box of school materials. Oddly enough, exactly what we need for Benjamin. Just what we need. Special education materials, his reading level, and just the right subjects. I'm not sure how we got them. Samuel certainly never would have needed them! My only guess is that in garage saling ... I must have bulk bought stuff and it was in it. I must have put it aside as uneeded and with the intent of taking care of it later ... and put it in the storage shed for God to bring it out when we needed it. I don't know if we'll pull him out this week or next. But, we'll do it. My mom will help, whether she realizes it or not :). She's as aggrivated with them as we are. Mom taught special ed, LD, Junior high for 20+ years ... her specialty is Bj's area. She's better with his area of learning than with Samuel's! So ...that, our own experience of homeschooling Samuel for 8 years. My sister being a homeschooler for ..gee ... I don't know ... my neice is 20, and she never went to public school, nephews are 16 and 14 ... homeschooled only ....and other neice 4 finishing kindergarten .... and they were on the state homeschooling board for Chef (homeschool organization) for a while. Add one more ... Don's sister, 2 miles a way ... homeschooling her daughter ... not like we don't have some bit of familial support here. As well as experiance to cover it. And ... it's just till we move to the better district for special education! No decision can't be undone ... My biggest concern is my mom being able to help. Her cognitive skills are declining. I haven't posted about those ... that seems to be a bigger issue than I can post about. Part of me is afraid ... if I post about my mom ... will it lend to some legitimacy of the problems? Will the concerns that I have be out there for others to see in a way that someone else can say "yes, that's valid" and then ... therefore ..they're real ... as long as they're in my head ... and as long as the doctor's aren't taking me serious ... then they're all in my head see? I play such a pretty game of denial! I do hope this posts makes as much sense in the morning as I think it does now ... I took my ambien more than an hour ago!~ Maybe tomorrow I will find the nerve to post about my concerns about my Mamma. In the meantime ... I start Physical therapy at 8 am on my shoulder. I stop by the school after that to get an answer ... and that answer will give us a decision one way or the other on what we'll do with our boy. But ... I think it's just a technicality. The reality is... there are somethings I'd like to teach him using some methods called "Unschooling" We can't do a lot with him and unschooling because it would backfire when we send him back, but to start, to get some concepts down that he's thinking he'll never get ... to show him he can ... I wanna do it! So a part of me is mourning my QUIET and a part of me is excited to have the time with him I had with son #1. ":)
We'll get there. If I don't post in the next little bit about my mom ... remind me, I may have chosen not to ... or I may be stalling.