Pearls and Dreams
Biscotti Brain got my questions for me yesterday. I had to think about them. She thought they were easy. Funny, how we think we're asking easy questions and the person answering doesn't think they're so easy.
Ok, so here's my questions:
1. If you could give any gift to your husband, Don, what would it be? If you could receive any gift from Don, what would it be? I have been trying to decide all day if I was going to answer this literally or spiritually, decided to answer literally.
If I could get him any gift it would be a full blown set of fishing gear, complete with comfortable chairs and anything else he needed to make fishing more comfortable and do able.
For me ...either a cruise ... or a book membership with a christian book club where I could order the books and or Bible studies I'm interested in.
2. You have written passionately about the struggles you've had with your son's school board. If you could put into place any three changes in how they deliver services, what would they be?
This is a hard one, you'd think it'd be easy, but since it would effect so many children, it takes great thought.
1. I would want them to put on child advocates on STAFF that would attend meetings that would work on behalf of the child, not the district in making sure that the school was following the laws for that child's special needs. (not to go above and beyond, just to MEET those laws)
2. I would want the school to realize that we, as families dealing with these issues do not want to deal with these issues. We'd rather not have to NEED these services, so to make us fight for something we'd just as soon rather not have is the ultimate cruelty. I would want them to start to see what their jobs are with more compassion and less dollar signs.
3. I would want them to start early intervention earlier. Waiting till third grade to identify problems is not what the law indicates or implies is acceptable and to do so causes irreperable harm to these kids. I would rather see them putting a higher amount of children in special ed classes at a younger age and graduating them out as they get older than to fight the parents and wait until there is no other choice and then the child can never get caught up.
3. You have described some of the hours you've already put in toward your commitment for a Habitat for Humanity house (which I think is a wonderful organization, btw). What does you dream-home look like? What features does it have? What colours would you put inside and out?
My dream home. First, dream home comes with a maid. (grin)
The kitchen would have a cooking island in it and would be slate blue and grays with lighthouses and beaches for the theme.
There would be a 'sitting room' for Bible study, it would be all white, with a black piano, and one red rose. But all the furniture & carpeting would be white.
The family room would be warm and snuggly with a fire place and plenty of throw blankets around with soft comfortable furniture to sit and talk in. It would be near enough to the kitchen you could visit with the person in the kitchen if you wanted to.
There would not be a speck of purple anywhere in the house.
There would certainly be a pool & hot tub. With a wintertime covering for year round use.
The outside would be a very very light blue. With all kinds of flowers and shrubbery.
4. In reading about your life, your time here on earth has been marked with some serious loss. How have you kept yourself from bitterness?
Short answer : my mother
Long answer: I think it boils down to one day when I was 15 years old and I was furious with my real father. I'd spent MONTHS saving for a father's day gift for him. I mean MONTHS. I sent it to him and he sent my sister a birthday card and he wrote in the card "and by the way, tell Peggi thanks for the father's day present"
I was livid. Not only had he not thanked me personally, but he didn't even identify the gift I'd specifically picked out and saved for and worked for.
My 15 year old brain went ballistic and started to scream that I hated him. My mother grabbed me and told me that she never wanted to hear me say that again. She could not make me respect him, but she could insist that I BE respectful.
She showed me that my actions and my emotions are both equal of importance, but, they are separate from each other.
What I learned though ...is that they do effect one another.
Somehow, that insistance caused me to step back and look at how I reacted to the situation and every situation since. How I react, and how I feel, and how I let it effect me does not have to be all knee jerk reaction. Just because a situation is painful and I experience something that is not fair, does not mean that I get to react with anger and bitterness. I have to step back, look at the situation, evaluate it, react with respect ...toward a person, or situation, or God.
When I step back in evaluation, then that gives God time to show me what I need to learn in the situation and the growth that I need to gain. It isn't easy, and is often painful. But far less painful than allowing the bitteroot to grow.
5. What one thing in the world brings you the most joy? How can you get more of it in your life?
You know, 6 months ago, my answer would be different than it is today. 6 months ago, I would have told you that it was just singing and worshipping and being in the presence of God. I couldn't imagine a higher joy.
Then, I went to a children's ministry planning team where a goal was presented for growth ..and that goal included stepping out of where you are ... and not just being content to give, worship, tithe and serve. But to mentor and take someone along with you. To actively persue decipling another in their christian walk.
Well, I was meeting a lot of the spiritual goals presented ...except that last one ... I was stopping at myself and I thought it was enough and I couldn't imagine a greater joy than just worshipping.
Until I started Pipp Jr and stood in a circle of prayer with 14 little kids as they prayed for the church leadership.
Until I started doing on one one descipleship with a friend who wasn't raised to study her Bible as I was, and I see her 'getting it' as I pass skills of study on to her and she realizes she's just as capable as anyone to pull what she needs from the scriptures.
Until I gave the devotional the other night and saw the looks on the faces as the women (more than the girls) understood what I was saying.
Until I realized that just serving isn't enough, but serving and desciping, serving, descipling and worshipping ...
How do I get more joy? Keep going ...pushing the box further open, stepping out of my comfort zone in obedience even when I'm afraid. Remembering that my center is His presence, but he wants me to share that experience, not just to stay there in isolation, that's how I will get more joy ..which is something that is hard to fathom.