Pearls and Dreams
Today, I made a decision I rarely make. I chose to not participate in a church acitivity. I participate in most activities ... so ...should I feel bad because I chose not to? Probably not. However, the fact that I'm searching for a hundred different reasons why it was ok for me to skip out on this one ... probably means it wasn't ok.
It was called "Connect 4"
The idea is to get people to actually make connections ...more than passing each other in the hallway or in Sunday school class ...but to actually sit down and talk to each other. TO MEET each other. To get to know each other, and to find out something new about each other. To share a meal with each other and to make the fellowship of the church family something more than just shaking hands or a hug around the neck during the music during Sunday Morning.
Ideally, you'd sit with someone you don't know or you barely know.
Now ... for me ... this is prime panic attack ground for me.
Loosely structured.
Food oriented.
Not well acquainted.
Nuh huh!
Talk about out of the box!
So, While a good number of the people of the church went into the gym to eat ... I managed to hide out in my normal hiding place ... and work on memorizing the narration for next weeks cantada.
I have wondered when I went from loving being a part of the loose structured social part of a church ... to wanting desperately be a part of a church family ..but please ... let me stay at an arms distance!!!
Dr. Suess
"And will you succeed? Yes indeed! Yes indeed! Ninety Eight and Three Quarters guarenteed!"
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Rainy Days
Pearls and Dreams
A Rainy Day
A rainy day,
so cold, so wet.
A hot chocolate day,
to warm me up,
A staying inside day,
Just to dream,
and wonder,
and love.
A rainy day,
so cold, so wet.
A different day,
From all the rest.
Made just for me,
to dream,
and wonder,
and love.
© 1981 Peggikaye Eagler
Today, it is raining ... pouring actually. Cold.
It's dark and it reminds me of days that my daddy and I would be snuggled up in blankets in the living room and drink hot chocolate and eat popcorn.
He'd be in his recliner ..and I'd most likely be on the floor by the sliding glass door watching the rain. I have no idea where my mom and sister were during these times. Debbie might have been in her own room, and mom in the sewing room. Mom, was most likely at work. If I got cold, I could grab my blanket and climb into Dad's lap for a while. I was too squirmy to be content to stay there for long.
I wrote this poem a couple of years after he died. With all the poems I've written, this remains my mom's favorites. Today, would be one of those days that would be snuggled in a blanket ... chores suspended ...and enjoying hearing God's watering the earth ...and being together. A day just to dream, and wonder and love.
Whatever the weather is doing where you are ... take some time ...to dream, and wonder ..and love.
A Rainy Day
A rainy day,
so cold, so wet.
A hot chocolate day,
to warm me up,
A staying inside day,
Just to dream,
and wonder,
and love.
A rainy day,
so cold, so wet.
A different day,
From all the rest.
Made just for me,
to dream,
and wonder,
and love.
© 1981 Peggikaye Eagler
Today, it is raining ... pouring actually. Cold.
It's dark and it reminds me of days that my daddy and I would be snuggled up in blankets in the living room and drink hot chocolate and eat popcorn.
He'd be in his recliner ..and I'd most likely be on the floor by the sliding glass door watching the rain. I have no idea where my mom and sister were during these times. Debbie might have been in her own room, and mom in the sewing room. Mom, was most likely at work. If I got cold, I could grab my blanket and climb into Dad's lap for a while. I was too squirmy to be content to stay there for long.
I wrote this poem a couple of years after he died. With all the poems I've written, this remains my mom's favorites. Today, would be one of those days that would be snuggled in a blanket ... chores suspended ...and enjoying hearing God's watering the earth ...and being together. A day just to dream, and wonder and love.
Whatever the weather is doing where you are ... take some time ...to dream, and wonder ..and love.
Friday, April 28, 2006
Seriously warped
Pearls and Dreams
*grin*
I am warped. I love physical therapy. What kind of a nut case likes physical therapy? You can go back to last spring when I was getting PT on my knee and see how much I enjoyed it! I'm nuts!
Maybe if I could afford a membership to a gym, I wouldn't enjoy it so much? Even the Y is out of our financial reach. So ..that might be why. I'm one of those weird people who really like to exercise.
I just finished my third day of PT. My PT tried to short change me on my exercises ...nuh huh! He got a bit embarrassed cause I had to remind him of my routine and it was only my 3rd day. Hey, I'm an old pro when it comes to PT!
At least he's not hovering over me! He really hovered the first 2 days. Wednesday, I almost fainted, so he was probably right to. I think it was a lupus thing, I had sooo many other lupus symptoms ... and dizzy/fainting is one of my lupus problems.
This clinic, when I went last year, offered to let me stay and use their facilities to work out for $25 a month (which I didn't, because of time and just didn't feel good) but, they've moved and have a smaller place ... I hope they make that same offer when I'm done ... although, I don't see anyone using the place as a gym anymore, so I doubt it is still the standard. :(.
If you get a chance check out my friends blog
Wanda's Wings and Benjamin's new homeschool blog Under Cover (he's a James Bond nut) ... I'm going to be putting some of his writings there.
*grin*
I am warped. I love physical therapy. What kind of a nut case likes physical therapy? You can go back to last spring when I was getting PT on my knee and see how much I enjoyed it! I'm nuts!
Maybe if I could afford a membership to a gym, I wouldn't enjoy it so much? Even the Y is out of our financial reach. So ..that might be why. I'm one of those weird people who really like to exercise.
I just finished my third day of PT. My PT tried to short change me on my exercises ...nuh huh! He got a bit embarrassed cause I had to remind him of my routine and it was only my 3rd day. Hey, I'm an old pro when it comes to PT!
At least he's not hovering over me! He really hovered the first 2 days. Wednesday, I almost fainted, so he was probably right to. I think it was a lupus thing, I had sooo many other lupus symptoms ... and dizzy/fainting is one of my lupus problems.
This clinic, when I went last year, offered to let me stay and use their facilities to work out for $25 a month (which I didn't, because of time and just didn't feel good) but, they've moved and have a smaller place ... I hope they make that same offer when I'm done ... although, I don't see anyone using the place as a gym anymore, so I doubt it is still the standard. :(.
If you get a chance check out my friends blog
Wanda's Wings and Benjamin's new homeschool blog Under Cover (he's a James Bond nut) ... I'm going to be putting some of his writings there.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Homeschooling
Pearls and Dreams
So, I started to homeschooling my youngest son this week.
I've been afraid to forever.
He's wanted to be homeschooled from the beginning ... all his cousins are homeschooled, and his brother was homeschooled for most of his elementary and junior high years.
He's always felt a bit left out.
Given the problems with the school, both academically and safety wise, we decided to homeschool. With full encouragement of the principal and vice principal (what's wrong with THAT picture?).
So, I start off ..sick to my stomach ... I'm going to flop. I have had fears of homeschooling him for a reason!
I can't help this child who needs so much help! If professionals can't help him ..what makes me think I can?
I didn't even finish college! I have all of 26 hours!!!
I've been at home for the last too many years, and before that I was a stupid waitress! How can I teach this child who needs so much?
I start, I simply give him what I'd asked the teachers to give him.
I'm mad. He does it. He does it without help. He completes it. He gets 100% on all his work. He gets more done in 3 days than he has gotten done in who knows how long in school.
It's simple ... I gave it to him in bits, and pieces ...so that he's not overwhelmed ... a few math problems at a time instead of 35 problems at a time. Let him finish those and then do more.
Follow the IEP ...
I learned something too.
He has the heart of a writer!
How come they didn't know that?
He wrote an essay ... and then ... I corrected it, and he re wrote it, and when he saw his completed essay, without mistakes and grammatically correct ... the pride ...I haven't gotten to see that look on his face! He'd accomplished something!
His words meant something.
Pretty cool. I think he and I can do this homeschool thing!
So, I started to homeschooling my youngest son this week.
I've been afraid to forever.
He's wanted to be homeschooled from the beginning ... all his cousins are homeschooled, and his brother was homeschooled for most of his elementary and junior high years.
He's always felt a bit left out.
Given the problems with the school, both academically and safety wise, we decided to homeschool. With full encouragement of the principal and vice principal (what's wrong with THAT picture?).
So, I start off ..sick to my stomach ... I'm going to flop. I have had fears of homeschooling him for a reason!
I can't help this child who needs so much help! If professionals can't help him ..what makes me think I can?
I didn't even finish college! I have all of 26 hours!!!
I've been at home for the last too many years, and before that I was a stupid waitress! How can I teach this child who needs so much?
I start, I simply give him what I'd asked the teachers to give him.
I'm mad. He does it. He does it without help. He completes it. He gets 100% on all his work. He gets more done in 3 days than he has gotten done in who knows how long in school.
It's simple ... I gave it to him in bits, and pieces ...so that he's not overwhelmed ... a few math problems at a time instead of 35 problems at a time. Let him finish those and then do more.
Follow the IEP ...
I learned something too.
He has the heart of a writer!
How come they didn't know that?
He wrote an essay ... and then ... I corrected it, and he re wrote it, and when he saw his completed essay, without mistakes and grammatically correct ... the pride ...I haven't gotten to see that look on his face! He'd accomplished something!
His words meant something.
Pretty cool. I think he and I can do this homeschool thing!
I've had a blog baby!!!
Pearls and Dreams
A dear dear friend of mine has begun blogging! (D, does this make you a blog grandma?)
So, Check out her blog and give her support at Wanda's Wings
She is a beautiful woman who's life is truly beginning to take wing!
We've known each other by face for close to 5 years, but have only been friends for a few months. We're trying to figure out why.
Anyway ... WELCOME TO THE BLOG WORLD WANDA'S WINGS!
A dear dear friend of mine has begun blogging! (D, does this make you a blog grandma?)
So, Check out her blog and give her support at Wanda's Wings
She is a beautiful woman who's life is truly beginning to take wing!
We've known each other by face for close to 5 years, but have only been friends for a few months. We're trying to figure out why.
Anyway ... WELCOME TO THE BLOG WORLD WANDA'S WINGS!
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
For you Dr. Deb
Pearls and Dreams
Stepping Out
I can sit right here in my box,
As comfortable as can be,
Never venturing out of bounds,
Look past what is easy to see.
To succeed beyond, who will care?
The box is where I’d like to live.
It’s home and what is familiar,
Really! I have nothing to give!
This box isn’t all that bad.
It might be just a tad too small.
The sides too narrow, top too short,
Inside is cold, I need a shawl.
I realize if I stepped out,
I just might find life is better,
Life in this box is not that bad!
A bit cramped, hard to even write a letter.
To step outside my little box,
Means taking some daring risks.
I don’t know that I’m brave enough,
What if the wind is much too brisk?
To do what God has planned for me,
I’d have to step out in trust.
I guess it’s time, now or never,
Before the hinges on my box rust!
© Peggikaye Eagler
Stepping Out
I can sit right here in my box,
As comfortable as can be,
Never venturing out of bounds,
Look past what is easy to see.
To succeed beyond, who will care?
The box is where I’d like to live.
It’s home and what is familiar,
Really! I have nothing to give!
This box isn’t all that bad.
It might be just a tad too small.
The sides too narrow, top too short,
Inside is cold, I need a shawl.
I realize if I stepped out,
I just might find life is better,
Life in this box is not that bad!
A bit cramped, hard to even write a letter.
To step outside my little box,
Means taking some daring risks.
I don’t know that I’m brave enough,
What if the wind is much too brisk?
To do what God has planned for me,
I’d have to step out in trust.
I guess it’s time, now or never,
Before the hinges on my box rust!
© Peggikaye Eagler
Monday, April 24, 2006
Pearls and Dreams
Pearls and Dreams
To Honor My Mother
Taking me home, thrilled to raise me up.
Overwhelmed with joy, God filled your cup.
Hours of chasing me to tie my shoe,
Or wiping my hands when I played with glue.
Nights spend rocking and wiping my brow,
Over and under, "You can tie your shoe now!"
Reading, writing teaching me each new thing.
Years flying by, new triumphs they bring.
Observing the world through childlike eyes,
Understanding my dreams will reach to the skies.
Month after month, the lessons you teach,
You've worked hard to put success in my reach.
Mishaps and trophies, both bring a tear,
Opening your heart, you've calmed my fear.
Through I stand here now, I've grown much too fast,
Hoping you'll see my love, forever, will last.
Everything you've done, the best gift to me,
Really making sure I know Jesus loves me!
© Peggikaye Eagler
To Honor My Mother
Taking me home, thrilled to raise me up.
Overwhelmed with joy, God filled your cup.
Hours of chasing me to tie my shoe,
Or wiping my hands when I played with glue.
Nights spend rocking and wiping my brow,
Over and under, "You can tie your shoe now!"
Reading, writing teaching me each new thing.
Years flying by, new triumphs they bring.
Observing the world through childlike eyes,
Understanding my dreams will reach to the skies.
Month after month, the lessons you teach,
You've worked hard to put success in my reach.
Mishaps and trophies, both bring a tear,
Opening your heart, you've calmed my fear.
Through I stand here now, I've grown much too fast,
Hoping you'll see my love, forever, will last.
Everything you've done, the best gift to me,
Really making sure I know Jesus loves me!
© Peggikaye Eagler
Final
Pearls and Dreams Decision made. He's home. Vice principal agreed that he's better off at home. For a district that's as anti homeschooling as it is, that's saying something. Having succesfully homeschooled one child through the 8th grade that now has an incredible reputation in the high school ..doesn't hurt their encouragement in this area. They can't find the student at the heart of the matter ...so they can't protect him. They concede that they can't get the teacher's to consistently follow the IEP ... so ... an individual program would be ideal for him. I was told by one person that in most cases they don't recommend homeschooling ever, but some families, they just know the child is better off. This is one of those cases. So, in the next few days, we will be sitting down and writing his homeschool IEP.
It's not over
So, it appears that my homeschooling days are not over. While the decision hasn't officially been made, my husband is pushing, ironic considering that it was me who was pushing a few weeks ago. We were supposed to wait and make the final decision after we talked to our pastor tomorrow, but I think Don's made up his mind now. (Ironic since it will be me doing all the work.)
We have all the materials we need. When we cleaned out the storage shed so that we don't have to move the stuff next year, we found a whole box of school materials. Oddly enough, exactly what we need for Benjamin. Just what we need. Special education materials, his reading level, and just the right subjects. I'm not sure how we got them. Samuel certainly never would have needed them! My only guess is that in garage saling ... I must have bulk bought stuff and it was in it. I must have put it aside as uneeded and with the intent of taking care of it later ... and put it in the storage shed for God to bring it out when we needed it. I don't know if we'll pull him out this week or next. But, we'll do it. My mom will help, whether she realizes it or not :). She's as aggrivated with them as we are. Mom taught special ed, LD, Junior high for 20+ years ... her specialty is Bj's area. She's better with his area of learning than with Samuel's! So ...that, our own experience of homeschooling Samuel for 8 years. My sister being a homeschooler for ..gee ... I don't know ... my neice is 20, and she never went to public school, nephews are 16 and 14 ... homeschooled only ....and other neice 4 finishing kindergarten .... and they were on the state homeschooling board for Chef (homeschool organization) for a while. Add one more ... Don's sister, 2 miles a way ... homeschooling her daughter ... not like we don't have some bit of familial support here. As well as experiance to cover it. And ... it's just till we move to the better district for special education! No decision can't be undone ... My biggest concern is my mom being able to help. Her cognitive skills are declining. I haven't posted about those ... that seems to be a bigger issue than I can post about. Part of me is afraid ... if I post about my mom ... will it lend to some legitimacy of the problems? Will the concerns that I have be out there for others to see in a way that someone else can say "yes, that's valid" and then ... therefore ..they're real ... as long as they're in my head ... and as long as the doctor's aren't taking me serious ... then they're all in my head see? I play such a pretty game of denial! I do hope this posts makes as much sense in the morning as I think it does now ... I took my ambien more than an hour ago!~ Maybe tomorrow I will find the nerve to post about my concerns about my Mamma. In the meantime ... I start Physical therapy at 8 am on my shoulder. I stop by the school after that to get an answer ... and that answer will give us a decision one way or the other on what we'll do with our boy. But ... I think it's just a technicality. The reality is... there are somethings I'd like to teach him using some methods called "Unschooling" We can't do a lot with him and unschooling because it would backfire when we send him back, but to start, to get some concepts down that he's thinking he'll never get ... to show him he can ... I wanna do it! So a part of me is mourning my QUIET and a part of me is excited to have the time with him I had with son #1. ":)
We'll get there. If I don't post in the next little bit about my mom ... remind me, I may have chosen not to ... or I may be stalling.
We have all the materials we need. When we cleaned out the storage shed so that we don't have to move the stuff next year, we found a whole box of school materials. Oddly enough, exactly what we need for Benjamin. Just what we need. Special education materials, his reading level, and just the right subjects. I'm not sure how we got them. Samuel certainly never would have needed them! My only guess is that in garage saling ... I must have bulk bought stuff and it was in it. I must have put it aside as uneeded and with the intent of taking care of it later ... and put it in the storage shed for God to bring it out when we needed it. I don't know if we'll pull him out this week or next. But, we'll do it. My mom will help, whether she realizes it or not :). She's as aggrivated with them as we are. Mom taught special ed, LD, Junior high for 20+ years ... her specialty is Bj's area. She's better with his area of learning than with Samuel's! So ...that, our own experience of homeschooling Samuel for 8 years. My sister being a homeschooler for ..gee ... I don't know ... my neice is 20, and she never went to public school, nephews are 16 and 14 ... homeschooled only ....and other neice 4 finishing kindergarten .... and they were on the state homeschooling board for Chef (homeschool organization) for a while. Add one more ... Don's sister, 2 miles a way ... homeschooling her daughter ... not like we don't have some bit of familial support here. As well as experiance to cover it. And ... it's just till we move to the better district for special education! No decision can't be undone ... My biggest concern is my mom being able to help. Her cognitive skills are declining. I haven't posted about those ... that seems to be a bigger issue than I can post about. Part of me is afraid ... if I post about my mom ... will it lend to some legitimacy of the problems? Will the concerns that I have be out there for others to see in a way that someone else can say "yes, that's valid" and then ... therefore ..they're real ... as long as they're in my head ... and as long as the doctor's aren't taking me serious ... then they're all in my head see? I play such a pretty game of denial! I do hope this posts makes as much sense in the morning as I think it does now ... I took my ambien more than an hour ago!~ Maybe tomorrow I will find the nerve to post about my concerns about my Mamma. In the meantime ... I start Physical therapy at 8 am on my shoulder. I stop by the school after that to get an answer ... and that answer will give us a decision one way or the other on what we'll do with our boy. But ... I think it's just a technicality. The reality is... there are somethings I'd like to teach him using some methods called "Unschooling" We can't do a lot with him and unschooling because it would backfire when we send him back, but to start, to get some concepts down that he's thinking he'll never get ... to show him he can ... I wanna do it! So a part of me is mourning my QUIET and a part of me is excited to have the time with him I had with son #1. ":)
We'll get there. If I don't post in the next little bit about my mom ... remind me, I may have chosen not to ... or I may be stalling.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Pearls and Dreams
Pearls and DreamsIt is amazing, I sat watching a group of little kids today, practicing a song for a children's choir for the musical ... pray for me, pray for me, though you may never see, how your prayers are answered, heaven heard every word, every word, don't forget to pray for me ... and I think back...
To a church that met in a fairgrounds ...in the mountains. It started out meeting in people's homes, but got to big, and we had to move to the fair grounds. Our Sunday school classroom was the gazebo ... our playground, the picnic grounds. Our Sanctuary was the Cafeteria on the fair grounds. Every week as we walked into church we'd see the big Mariposa Butterfly ... the butterfly ..symbol of new life! Welcome to Mariposa Christian Fellowship!
The unique thing about this church was that I knew that I was prayed for. I knew that I was bathed in prayer. I knew that every problem that I had was covered in prayer. I knew that when something went wrong ... Joan J. Joan S., Diana D. Diana B. Elaine (pastor's wife) Theresa N, Jay, Claudia and any number of other women ... AND THEIR HUSBANDS were going immediately to prayer for me. I can't tell you how many times I would walk into a room with these women with my heart sad, and one of them would grab me and say "what's wrong?" and the answer would be "Let's take it to Jesus in prayer!"
Whenever we met as a group there were 3 things that were guarenteed that were going to happen ... praise and worship ... prayer ... and praying for one another. Children were included in the middle of it. When the adults prayed, the children prayed too.
I think back now, and realized just how many of these women, these Godly women had me covered in prayer ... how many of them daily lifted me before their King ... and encouraged me!
I see the kids coming up now ... some I've watched from infancy, many since toddler hood, and many more since very young school age ...and I realize that I'm getting the privilege of praying for them. Times have changed, we don't 'do church' like churches were done in the 70's. People are busier than they were then. We don't sit around and picnic after church almost every Sunday ... or go to each other's houses all the time.
So, the kids aren't seen and in the middle of everything the way my sister and I were ... we're not in the middle of the ladies Bible studies ... and we don't have the church fellowship times that were so common 30 years ago. But, these kids are so precious to us all ... and I hope they will know, that in the way that will be special to them when they are 41 that they can look back and say ...wow! Look at what our church did for us! Look at how they taught us ... look at what they provided for us ... and look how they bathed us in prayer!
We may never see the results ...but if they are bathed in prayer, they will know it, it will be un-mistakable.
To a church that met in a fairgrounds ...in the mountains. It started out meeting in people's homes, but got to big, and we had to move to the fair grounds. Our Sunday school classroom was the gazebo ... our playground, the picnic grounds. Our Sanctuary was the Cafeteria on the fair grounds. Every week as we walked into church we'd see the big Mariposa Butterfly ... the butterfly ..symbol of new life! Welcome to Mariposa Christian Fellowship!
The unique thing about this church was that I knew that I was prayed for. I knew that I was bathed in prayer. I knew that every problem that I had was covered in prayer. I knew that when something went wrong ... Joan J. Joan S., Diana D. Diana B. Elaine (pastor's wife) Theresa N, Jay, Claudia and any number of other women ... AND THEIR HUSBANDS were going immediately to prayer for me. I can't tell you how many times I would walk into a room with these women with my heart sad, and one of them would grab me and say "what's wrong?" and the answer would be "Let's take it to Jesus in prayer!"
Whenever we met as a group there were 3 things that were guarenteed that were going to happen ... praise and worship ... prayer ... and praying for one another. Children were included in the middle of it. When the adults prayed, the children prayed too.
I think back now, and realized just how many of these women, these Godly women had me covered in prayer ... how many of them daily lifted me before their King ... and encouraged me!
I see the kids coming up now ... some I've watched from infancy, many since toddler hood, and many more since very young school age ...and I realize that I'm getting the privilege of praying for them. Times have changed, we don't 'do church' like churches were done in the 70's. People are busier than they were then. We don't sit around and picnic after church almost every Sunday ... or go to each other's houses all the time.
So, the kids aren't seen and in the middle of everything the way my sister and I were ... we're not in the middle of the ladies Bible studies ... and we don't have the church fellowship times that were so common 30 years ago. But, these kids are so precious to us all ... and I hope they will know, that in the way that will be special to them when they are 41 that they can look back and say ...wow! Look at what our church did for us! Look at how they taught us ... look at what they provided for us ... and look how they bathed us in prayer!
We may never see the results ...but if they are bathed in prayer, they will know it, it will be un-mistakable.
Our Top Stories this on this Mornings News
http://www.ktul.com/news/stories/0406/321253.html
Seminole County Boy Reported Missing
Friday April 21, 2006 2:14pm Posted By: Kevin King
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Wewoka - The search continues in Seminole County for a nine-year-old boy who has been missing since Thursday afternoon.Seminole County authorities are looking for 9-year-old Colton Clark. He was last seen at about 1:10 p.m. Thursday afternoon in Seminole.Megan Foster with the sheriff's office says the boy is ab out 4-feet-4 inches tall, 65 pounds and has short brown hair and wears silver-framed glasses. He was wearing a sky-blue shirt, Wrangler jeans and blue and white tennis shoes.Gene Thaxton with the state Amber Alert committee says an Amber Alert has not been issued because there is no information the boy has been abducted. Thaxton says he's currently classified only as missing.We're told the boy has been in counseling and may have run away to avoid going. But, authorities are now worried for him because his dog returned home early Friday morning. Now, they're afraid he may be lost or may be in danger.This is the third time in less than a month and the second time since last week a child has been reported missing in Oklahoma.A 10-year-old Tulsa girl disappeared March 28th and was found dead and a 10-year-old Purcell girl was reported missing last Wednesday and was found dead last Friday.Arrests have been made in both those cases.
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Former Bixby School Bus Driver Formally Charged With Lewd Molestation
Friday April 21, 2006 10:59am Posted By: Kevin King
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___ Related Stories ___Former Bixby School Bus Driver Accused Of Making Lewd Proposal
Tulsa - Formal charges have now been filed against a Bixby bus driver accused of inappropriately touching a girl on his bus. Charles Wayne Witt faces one count of lewd molestation, which was filed Thursday in Tulsa County Court. Witt was originally booked into the Tulsa County Jail on a complaint of making a lewd proposal to a minor. Witt is accused of inappropriately touching the girl and asking her to go out with him. Police say they have video evidence in the case from a camera mounted inside the bus. They say it taped Witt and a young girl talking in front of the nearly capacity bus. Bixby police arrested Witt April 13th. Bixby Superintendent Mary Jane Bias says the district learned of the allegations on April 10th and immediately informed police. Witt resigned before police began their investigation. Witt has been in the Tulsa County Jail on 50-thousand dollars bond since his arrest.
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Seminole County Boy Reported Missing
Friday April 21, 2006 2:14pm Posted By: Kevin King
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Wewoka - The search continues in Seminole County for a nine-year-old boy who has been missing since Thursday afternoon.Seminole County authorities are looking for 9-year-old Colton Clark. He was last seen at about 1:10 p.m. Thursday afternoon in Seminole.Megan Foster with the sheriff's office says the boy is ab out 4-feet-4 inches tall, 65 pounds and has short brown hair and wears silver-framed glasses. He was wearing a sky-blue shirt, Wrangler jeans and blue and white tennis shoes.Gene Thaxton with the state Amber Alert committee says an Amber Alert has not been issued because there is no information the boy has been abducted. Thaxton says he's currently classified only as missing.We're told the boy has been in counseling and may have run away to avoid going. But, authorities are now worried for him because his dog returned home early Friday morning. Now, they're afraid he may be lost or may be in danger.This is the third time in less than a month and the second time since last week a child has been reported missing in Oklahoma.A 10-year-old Tulsa girl disappeared March 28th and was found dead and a 10-year-old Purcell girl was reported missing last Wednesday and was found dead last Friday.Arrests have been made in both those cases.
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Former Bixby School Bus Driver Formally Charged With Lewd Molestation
Friday April 21, 2006 10:59am Posted By: Kevin King
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___ Related Stories ___Former Bixby School Bus Driver Accused Of Making Lewd Proposal
Tulsa - Formal charges have now been filed against a Bixby bus driver accused of inappropriately touching a girl on his bus. Charles Wayne Witt faces one count of lewd molestation, which was filed Thursday in Tulsa County Court. Witt was originally booked into the Tulsa County Jail on a complaint of making a lewd proposal to a minor. Witt is accused of inappropriately touching the girl and asking her to go out with him. Police say they have video evidence in the case from a camera mounted inside the bus. They say it taped Witt and a young girl talking in front of the nearly capacity bus. Bixby police arrested Witt April 13th. Bixby Superintendent Mary Jane Bias says the district learned of the allegations on April 10th and immediately informed police. Witt resigned before police began their investigation. Witt has been in the Tulsa County Jail on 50-thousand dollars bond since his arrest.
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Pulling Rank
Pearls and Dreams When we got to the meeting, they immediatly started to blame Benjamin. I was floored. Evidently, the basis of the problem was that some kids, we don't yet know who, had told the kids who jumped Benjamin, that Benjamin had called them (the kids who jumped him) the "N" word. The principal, was assuming that the rumor didn't start from thin air, and that some how, some time, they had to have gotten the idea from somewhere. How and why are they picking on Bj? He kept insisting that Benjamin MUST be doing something to bring this on. I was insisting that A) this was NOT in his character and B) kids DO make things up out of thin air and get other kids in trouble all the time ... ESPECIALLY weaker kids in special ed classes! He was continuing to insist that Benjamin had to have some knowlege of who and why they would think he might have said this. Benjamin was stunned and clueless ... of coarse because, he wouldn't have said it. I told them that there was no way ... his youth pastor is mixed race, some of his best friends are of hispanic race (I named them, they are kids in the district, and they knew who the kids were) I then added that I also had a couple of Aunts and Uncle's that were of African American decent (I left off that they were step relatives now divorced from the family, but that's none of their business and beside the point). Those comments gave a little credibility, but still didn't get Benjamin off the hook. I was so upset, and I didn't know how to convince them that they were blaming the victim. They kept saying they weren't, but they needed to understand why the rumors were taking place ... and Benjamin had to have done something at some time for these kids to have said that (hello?). Finally, I was very frustrated and said why don't you get T.N. in here. T.N is an administrator in the school district. He has offices in the school building where my son goes to school. T.N. is one of our families best friends, the father of Benjamin's best friend, and the husband of one of my prayer partners. He is also the adult accountability partner to my son as a student leadership team member. He's the pastor of a new church plant that our church has planted, so we don't see him as often. Our families have been friends since our boys have been in kindergarten. When I said T.N's name, the first reaction was one of "yea right, like you even know him" and the principal asked me how we know him ... and I began to explain the above ... as I got a couple of sentences into it, I decided rather than fully explain, I could REALLY show the intimacy of the friendship with the N family by saying "and I know that you and T.N are prayer partners." Now, obviously, not just anyone would have access to that information and he knows the N family well enough to know that they don't advertise that. So, anyone who would know that, KNOWS T.N. Suddenly ... Benjamin was an innocent victim. It was obvious, if we were willing to get T.N. in there to vouch for his reputation, to talk about who Bj was, then there must be truth to what I was saying. I had pulled rank. These rumors were baseless and now the goal was to find out WHO was spreading them. Frustrated Relief! We don't know who or why, the rumors were started, and we were asked to keep him out for a couple of days while they try to get to the bottom of it, for his own protection. We talked some about Joey, the boy who beat up Benjamin. The fact that he'd never caused ANY trouble before, and how much like Benjamin he is in character and mannerisms ... he'd been lied to by someone and he fully believed that Bj had called him something ... and in his young, junior high age ... he fell to peer pressure and went after him. I am ever so glad we didn't charge him with assault and battery!!! I do hope they find out who lied to him!!! I hope that this young man is shown that he can't listen to everything everyone tells him, and to find out the facts before acting because someone innocent may get hurt ..which will hurt him in the process. My heart aches for both Benjamin and Joey. Innocent pawns in some child's game ...some kid is sitting back and watching fireworks explode at their expense ... and both of them are paying a heavy price for it! I am proud of my son and the way he handled himself. I respected Joey's mom and the way she handled him the day it happened ... I have no doubt that he's going to be taught the lesson here ... I hope he learns the mercy lesson too, though. T.N.s wife, when I called her to tell her about the situation, to tell her that I'd invoked her husband's name and it saved my son's reputation ... she said isn't that interesting? Isn't that just like us and the devil? He accuses us ...and we defend ourselves ...and we present logical, true arguements ...and he keeps pounding us, and we come back ...and he keeps at us, accusing us, and we stand and we stand against him until we can't take it any longer ...and we pull rank ..and say NO MORE .. in the NAME OF JESUS ... I have PROOF my reputation is clean!I've pulled rank! and he has to back off! What a great picture! I was able to talk to Benjamin and Samuel about it and Benjamin was able to see the connection from what happened to the spiritual realm. So neat! So, that is how the meeting went ... tonight ..the boys are at the N's house spending the night. Don and I went to dinner and to see the Pink Panther ... I'm going to be at the church in less than 7 hours to practice musical stuff ... helping the pastor's daughter learn a song in sign language ... so I guess I should get myself to bed.
Friday, April 21, 2006
zits
Pearls and Dreams Too funny ...my favorite comic strip is Zits. I swear that they have a hidden camera in our house. Either that or my husband is secretly writing Zits and hiding the profits. Today's Zits is just hilarious. A must read for bloggers.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Good Morning
Pearls and Dreams We have a 12:30 appointment with the principal for Benjamin to give 'his side' of the story and for me to demand that they tell me just exactly how they can ensure his safety for the rest of the year. Both, emotionally, and physically. From teachers, and from students. I will be taking his IEP that they talked me into mailing to me because there weren't going to be any major changes (they lied) to it and since I needed to change the date ... (it was the day of my surgery) and they really didn't need to meet as a group (they did!) ... I will be asking him where the TEACHER'S requirements of meeting his needs are ... (they're gone from the IEP ... just that Benjamin will be sucessful in his work 70% of the time with a behavior modification plan. Which, by the way, is not in the IEP. NOTHING on how the teachers are going to help him MEET those goals!!!!) Uh ...um ..not acceptable!!! We're going to have a face to face IEP ... with a professional advocate ... sorry charlie (quite literally now that I think about it ...principal's first name ... Charlie, how ironic) So, we go in ... and tell them that they will be fixing all of this ..the bullying, the teacher's attitudes AND protecting my child ... or, I will do what I've never wanted to do ..and I will homeschool my child till we move. I homeschooled my oldest for 8 years. Inspite of my health. Granted, he didn't have learning disabilities so the fact that our resources were limited didn't matter ... but we did a darn good job with him ... he got the highest Pre ACT and Pre SAT scores in the school district ... after only being in that school for 41 weeks. I can't screw Bj up anymore than this school is doing!! Even if academically I keep him on the status quo and give him a safe, sound environment and build him up emotionally and spiritually and give him a work/study ethic ... he'll be ahead of the game!!! It hurts to look at the bruises on his face today. But he's smiling anyway. He'd rather not go to the meeting with me, but he has to give a written account of what happened ... and I want them to see the bruises ... and realize they did not protect my son. They were so determined to make a statement to the student body last week about all parties involved in an altercation ... that they got my son injured this week ... they need to know their refusal to make the right stand, cost a child something.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
"Of Coarse I forgive you"
Pearls and Dreams "Of coarse I forgive you, I'm a Christian" Those words came out of the mouth of my 14 year old son today. Uttered to a child who'd just caused him some pretty severe trauma. I don't know that I could have said the same thing. I do know that I hope the policeman standing there really HEARD what my son had to say to the child he said it to. Yes, I said policeman. I was sitting on the computer today, expecting my son to come in the door. He was a few minutes late. The phone rang and I figured he'd missed the bus from school. It was my son and he was crying. "Mom, I'm up here at the church office. I was beat up after I got off the bus. You need to come get me!"
"What? Benjamin! Why would you go to the church instead of home?" He told me he ran into the church office when he finally got away. I was really confused ... the church is a half mile away ... why would he go that far? I know you can see the church from the bus stop and you can't see home ...but still .... don't you run HOME when in crisis? "No mom! I'm with the POLICEMAN! UP HERE AT THE BUS STOP CHURCH!" It's registering, there is church offices at the bus stop, it's not OUR church offices. POLICE? "I'll be right there!"
My husband and I ran to the car and got to the front of the mobile home park, but we did not find what we'd expected to find. We found MANY police cars ... 8 policemen, the school bus and many men in suits. The school principal was there and the school bus looked like a riot had broken out. 3 of the 8 policemen and 2 other men were ON the bus. One of the men was a school board member and one of them was the principal of the school. They were desperately trying to get the bus under control. The story came unfolded to me while my son sat in the front seat of a police car. He was on the bus and some kids were picking on him, making threats. They were blaming him for something he'd supposedly done ...but hadn't. They'd been told this, by the kid who'd gotten suspended last week ...for beating him up in school. As he started to get off the bus, these kids went after him .. the driver tried to stop it, and couldn't ... and Bj got jumped. The driver tried to pull the other kid off of Bj and the driver got hit several times himself. The sad thing is, the kid who'd hit Benjamin ... had never been in trouble himself. Never caused trouble ... this was his first problems. One of the kids had been a serious issue, but the one who really pummeled Bj, wasn't a trouble maker ... he just picked the wrong friends. So, things finally got to settling down ...the principal told us one child (trouble maker but not assaulter) would be expelled from district and the other child (not a trouble maker but assaulter) would be suspended for 45 days ..which means finishing this year and into next year suspended. Then we were asked by the principal if we were going to file charges against the other child. We said no, probably not. The other kid wasn't a known trouble maker, they'd not been in conflict before, and to file charges, Benjamin would be put through more trauma. Does a kid who hasn't been known to cause trouble REALLY deserve to get a juvenille record the first screw up they have? So, about that time, the mother of the other child shows up. She gets out of the car and she's mad. She's madder than a wet hen and she goes up to the boy .."what do you think you're doing?" She wound up making him apologize to the police for causing the problems ..she made him apologize to US, to Benjamin and she wasn't happy with his apology to Bj at first ... "I said you apologize and you say it with the REAL meaning! You're at fault! NOT him!" The police spent about 20 minutes trying to talk us into filing charges, while we spent that time trying to explain that all that would do is cause further trauma for an already traumatized child. Finally, after they watched the other child, and realized that the principal wasn't pushing for charges, the bus driver wasn't pushing ...and the mother wasn't neglectful of the child, and this really WASN'T a trouble maker of a kid but a kid that SCREWED UP big time ...they backed off of us ..and told us that we had 365 days to change our minds. The other kid knows, if he does something else, we can change our minds and file assault charges against him. Personally, I think that when you mess up the first time and 8 policemen have to show up to fix it for you, and you're not a trouble maker ... and you have a mamma who's in your face ... you're probably not likely to do something again. And, when finally do get to the point of being able to say "I'm sorry" and mean it ..and the kid stands there and says "I forgive you, I'm a Christian" ... and you know, you could have been taken away in a police car if the child and his parents had chosen not to forgive you ... you are not likely to cause a problem again. I'm not interested in traumatizing my child or putting this kid in the juvenille system. But, I'm not sure I could look someone in the eyes right after causing me so much trauma and say "of coarse I forgive you, I'm a Christian" I am once again put in the position of looking at my kids and wondering where in the world this kid came from and how he got to be such a wonderful person.
"What? Benjamin! Why would you go to the church instead of home?" He told me he ran into the church office when he finally got away. I was really confused ... the church is a half mile away ... why would he go that far? I know you can see the church from the bus stop and you can't see home ...but still .... don't you run HOME when in crisis? "No mom! I'm with the POLICEMAN! UP HERE AT THE BUS STOP CHURCH!" It's registering, there is church offices at the bus stop, it's not OUR church offices. POLICE? "I'll be right there!"
My husband and I ran to the car and got to the front of the mobile home park, but we did not find what we'd expected to find. We found MANY police cars ... 8 policemen, the school bus and many men in suits. The school principal was there and the school bus looked like a riot had broken out. 3 of the 8 policemen and 2 other men were ON the bus. One of the men was a school board member and one of them was the principal of the school. They were desperately trying to get the bus under control. The story came unfolded to me while my son sat in the front seat of a police car. He was on the bus and some kids were picking on him, making threats. They were blaming him for something he'd supposedly done ...but hadn't. They'd been told this, by the kid who'd gotten suspended last week ...for beating him up in school. As he started to get off the bus, these kids went after him .. the driver tried to stop it, and couldn't ... and Bj got jumped. The driver tried to pull the other kid off of Bj and the driver got hit several times himself. The sad thing is, the kid who'd hit Benjamin ... had never been in trouble himself. Never caused trouble ... this was his first problems. One of the kids had been a serious issue, but the one who really pummeled Bj, wasn't a trouble maker ... he just picked the wrong friends. So, things finally got to settling down ...the principal told us one child (trouble maker but not assaulter) would be expelled from district and the other child (not a trouble maker but assaulter) would be suspended for 45 days ..which means finishing this year and into next year suspended. Then we were asked by the principal if we were going to file charges against the other child. We said no, probably not. The other kid wasn't a known trouble maker, they'd not been in conflict before, and to file charges, Benjamin would be put through more trauma. Does a kid who hasn't been known to cause trouble REALLY deserve to get a juvenille record the first screw up they have? So, about that time, the mother of the other child shows up. She gets out of the car and she's mad. She's madder than a wet hen and she goes up to the boy .."what do you think you're doing?" She wound up making him apologize to the police for causing the problems ..she made him apologize to US, to Benjamin and she wasn't happy with his apology to Bj at first ... "I said you apologize and you say it with the REAL meaning! You're at fault! NOT him!" The police spent about 20 minutes trying to talk us into filing charges, while we spent that time trying to explain that all that would do is cause further trauma for an already traumatized child. Finally, after they watched the other child, and realized that the principal wasn't pushing for charges, the bus driver wasn't pushing ...and the mother wasn't neglectful of the child, and this really WASN'T a trouble maker of a kid but a kid that SCREWED UP big time ...they backed off of us ..and told us that we had 365 days to change our minds. The other kid knows, if he does something else, we can change our minds and file assault charges against him. Personally, I think that when you mess up the first time and 8 policemen have to show up to fix it for you, and you're not a trouble maker ... and you have a mamma who's in your face ... you're probably not likely to do something again. And, when finally do get to the point of being able to say "I'm sorry" and mean it ..and the kid stands there and says "I forgive you, I'm a Christian" ... and you know, you could have been taken away in a police car if the child and his parents had chosen not to forgive you ... you are not likely to cause a problem again. I'm not interested in traumatizing my child or putting this kid in the juvenille system. But, I'm not sure I could look someone in the eyes right after causing me so much trauma and say "of coarse I forgive you, I'm a Christian" I am once again put in the position of looking at my kids and wondering where in the world this kid came from and how he got to be such a wonderful person.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Tomorrow's Date Here
Dear Bomber's ... a year ago, I finally wrote my friend a letter. You took my friend from me. In a careless act, to tell the government that you didn't like what they did, you decided that your statement was more important than the lives of my friend and those who loved her. Than my friend and her son and her future grandchildren.
My bitterness toward you, has been unmistakable, you could ask anyone who knew me while you were on trial ... my thoughts on how the death penalty should be carried out were rather creative. You took something more precious to me than your idea's ... you took love. Your idea's could have been stated another way ... love cannot be expressed from the grave.
However, it's now been 11 years. One of you has been put to death, and I'm not even going to talk about the rest involved or thought to be involved. But it's time for me to let go ...to say ... you're forgiven. Not because I think what you did was something so forgiveable, but because it's time to let the pain go ... it's time for me to treasure my friend for who she was and what she truly meant to me and I don't think if I continue to hate you for ripping her from my soul I can do that. So, it is up to God to deal with you from now on. You, as far as I am concerned are forgiven.
I have forgiven others who have wounded me who've done evil and looked me in the eye ..who've meant to harm Peggikaye ... so I can forgive you who meant to harm my government.
I'm sorry the hate in you overwhelmed you to the point that you didn't know what to do and couldn't see the love that others share. I wish that you'd had just one Trudy in your life. If you'd had the privilege of having even one Trudy in your life, you'd never have had to do this.
I forgive you, I really do. When I started this letter, I knew what I wanted to say, and I couldn't imagine saying it. I couldn't imagine letting go of the anger and ire ... but now ... I feel only sorrow for you ... as I typed that last paragraph ... my heart feels nothing but mercy for you, as suddenly I've understood what I've never understood ... I'm sorry and I forgive you.
Dear Readers, I wrote Trudy this letter a year ago ...and it still rings so true today, I just couldn't re write it.
Dear Trudy, I have needed to write you this letter for a long time, technically, it probably would have been better to wait till tomorrow, but it's still to painful. Today is the day. I remember the day I moved her to Tulsa. I was 17, and we'd just gotten into town. My sister worked at the church we'd be attending, and we just went straight to the church since it was Wednesday. December 30, 1981. You were there early for service to help the youth pastor and his secretary (my sister). You were 18. My sister introduced us and you hung around with me all afternoon. That evening, we sat together, after church, you introduced me to Eric W. and asked him if I could join 'Proclamation'. I had no clue what you were talking about. Eric asked me if I liked to sing and I said yes. So, he said, "We're a choir, join us Monday nights at 7 pm" New Years Eve, I went with you to the youth group New Years Eve party. Friday, you called me and we talked forever on the phone. Sunday we went to Ken's Pizza together after church. Monday night, we went to Proclamation practice together. My life changed forever. You, Trudy, accepted me, right from the start. No questioning who I was or what I was. Just open, honest and friendly. You were a year older than me, already out of high school, and I was just a Junior. It didn't matter to you ... social class ... age ...didn't matter. We'd become friends and fast friends.We sang together, we hung out together, we laughed together, cried together, prayed together and just sat together. The day I was afraid that my mom might have killed herself, you went with me to check the house, you went in first, so that if she had, I would not have found both my mom and my dad. Why neither of us thought to call the police? I have no idea. Thank God she was just asleep! (Did I ever tell you that she'd sprained her ankle and had taken some pain killers? that's why she didn't hear the phone ringing! Although, this last February, she did tell me, that she HAD been suicidal at the time). You dropped out of Proclamation, but our friendship didn't drop. You became pregnant with John Michael. I remember so many of our friends that just seemed to reject you. How awful that must have been for you. I still, to this day, don't understand that. I remember being very honored that you allowed me to share your pregnancy with you ... I learned about morning sickness and what it was like for a 19 year old who was brave enough to stand up for what she saw was right. Do you ever think about those 2 months I lived with you during the week? Me so I 'd be closer to my school, and for you to not be alone while you were going through such a miserable stage of pregnancy?You were one of the few people who had the nerve to corner me on the eating disorder. I don't know what you'd have done if the resources available today were there back then. I'll never forget the fury in your eyes when you caught me purging in your bathroom. The fury that turned to fear as you raged at me, then begged and pleaded with me to stop ... to stop and heal and to see myself better. To look at myself. Do you remember taking my face and making me look in the mirror? I don't know that I've ever had someone so lovingly mad at me ... I still hurt when I think of that moment. How much that must have hurt you. I'll never forget seeing John Michael when he was little. Those eyes would just enchant me. Can you remember our talks outside of the singles group? With everyone inside chatting away, you and I standing outside, still on the edge of things, John Michael going back and forth between us. High School was behind me, Proclamation behind both of us. I had no idea what to do. You didn't like Don when you met him either. I didn't learn very well did I? I'm sorry we lost contact. I think the last time we talked was when I called to tell you Samuel was born. I was supposed to call you again, but Samuel got so sick, then I was sick ...and my life spun out of control. Then April 19,1995, 9:02 A.M. Timothy McVeigh took the option of us ever re uniting as friends away. The friday after the bombing, CBS announced the first few names of the victims who'd been identified. I had a baby gate up between my kitchen & living room. As they were announcing the names, I was stepping over the gate, and I heard "Trudy Rigney" Immediately, I fell and started screaming. Evidently, I went into hysterics, my husband could not calm me down to find out why I was screaming. It took calling my mom, and mom, and him 5 full minutes to get "Trudy Rigney died" out of my mouth. It took 3 years for my son, who was then 3, to stop saying "Oka-homa City Bombing mamma, you can cry now" everytime the news would show the picture of the blown out Murrah Building. Oh Trudy ... I have so often wondered ... did you know? Oh how I hope you don't know it happened. How I've prayed that you were just working one minute and in the arms of God the next. The idea, that you'd had to hurt and suffer for a while just breaks my heart. It's been 10 years since you were so violently yanked from my life forever ... but my memories of you will forever be in my heart. You were my first friend in Oklahoma. You were a true friend who loved me enough to take a firm stand. I went to the Memorial a few years ago, I stood there and looked at the clear chair that represents who you are and all I could think of was "I'd rather have her here" I Love you Trudy Rigney. I always will. I miss you. Love Peggikaye
It's now been 11 years and I wish you could see me today Trudy ... my marriage is happy ... Don has decided that God really does have to be first ... and things are going good ... I miss you ... I've heard recently that Jonmichael is married, with kids, and getting baptized soon. I miss you girl!
My bitterness toward you, has been unmistakable, you could ask anyone who knew me while you were on trial ... my thoughts on how the death penalty should be carried out were rather creative. You took something more precious to me than your idea's ... you took love. Your idea's could have been stated another way ... love cannot be expressed from the grave.
However, it's now been 11 years. One of you has been put to death, and I'm not even going to talk about the rest involved or thought to be involved. But it's time for me to let go ...to say ... you're forgiven. Not because I think what you did was something so forgiveable, but because it's time to let the pain go ... it's time for me to treasure my friend for who she was and what she truly meant to me and I don't think if I continue to hate you for ripping her from my soul I can do that. So, it is up to God to deal with you from now on. You, as far as I am concerned are forgiven.
I have forgiven others who have wounded me who've done evil and looked me in the eye ..who've meant to harm Peggikaye ... so I can forgive you who meant to harm my government.
I'm sorry the hate in you overwhelmed you to the point that you didn't know what to do and couldn't see the love that others share. I wish that you'd had just one Trudy in your life. If you'd had the privilege of having even one Trudy in your life, you'd never have had to do this.
I forgive you, I really do. When I started this letter, I knew what I wanted to say, and I couldn't imagine saying it. I couldn't imagine letting go of the anger and ire ... but now ... I feel only sorrow for you ... as I typed that last paragraph ... my heart feels nothing but mercy for you, as suddenly I've understood what I've never understood ... I'm sorry and I forgive you.
Dear Readers, I wrote Trudy this letter a year ago ...and it still rings so true today, I just couldn't re write it.
Dear Trudy, I have needed to write you this letter for a long time, technically, it probably would have been better to wait till tomorrow, but it's still to painful. Today is the day. I remember the day I moved her to Tulsa. I was 17, and we'd just gotten into town. My sister worked at the church we'd be attending, and we just went straight to the church since it was Wednesday. December 30, 1981. You were there early for service to help the youth pastor and his secretary (my sister). You were 18. My sister introduced us and you hung around with me all afternoon. That evening, we sat together, after church, you introduced me to Eric W. and asked him if I could join 'Proclamation'. I had no clue what you were talking about. Eric asked me if I liked to sing and I said yes. So, he said, "We're a choir, join us Monday nights at 7 pm" New Years Eve, I went with you to the youth group New Years Eve party. Friday, you called me and we talked forever on the phone. Sunday we went to Ken's Pizza together after church. Monday night, we went to Proclamation practice together. My life changed forever. You, Trudy, accepted me, right from the start. No questioning who I was or what I was. Just open, honest and friendly. You were a year older than me, already out of high school, and I was just a Junior. It didn't matter to you ... social class ... age ...didn't matter. We'd become friends and fast friends.We sang together, we hung out together, we laughed together, cried together, prayed together and just sat together. The day I was afraid that my mom might have killed herself, you went with me to check the house, you went in first, so that if she had, I would not have found both my mom and my dad. Why neither of us thought to call the police? I have no idea. Thank God she was just asleep! (Did I ever tell you that she'd sprained her ankle and had taken some pain killers? that's why she didn't hear the phone ringing! Although, this last February, she did tell me, that she HAD been suicidal at the time). You dropped out of Proclamation, but our friendship didn't drop. You became pregnant with John Michael. I remember so many of our friends that just seemed to reject you. How awful that must have been for you. I still, to this day, don't understand that. I remember being very honored that you allowed me to share your pregnancy with you ... I learned about morning sickness and what it was like for a 19 year old who was brave enough to stand up for what she saw was right. Do you ever think about those 2 months I lived with you during the week? Me so I 'd be closer to my school, and for you to not be alone while you were going through such a miserable stage of pregnancy?You were one of the few people who had the nerve to corner me on the eating disorder. I don't know what you'd have done if the resources available today were there back then. I'll never forget the fury in your eyes when you caught me purging in your bathroom. The fury that turned to fear as you raged at me, then begged and pleaded with me to stop ... to stop and heal and to see myself better. To look at myself. Do you remember taking my face and making me look in the mirror? I don't know that I've ever had someone so lovingly mad at me ... I still hurt when I think of that moment. How much that must have hurt you. I'll never forget seeing John Michael when he was little. Those eyes would just enchant me. Can you remember our talks outside of the singles group? With everyone inside chatting away, you and I standing outside, still on the edge of things, John Michael going back and forth between us. High School was behind me, Proclamation behind both of us. I had no idea what to do. You didn't like Don when you met him either. I didn't learn very well did I? I'm sorry we lost contact. I think the last time we talked was when I called to tell you Samuel was born. I was supposed to call you again, but Samuel got so sick, then I was sick ...and my life spun out of control. Then April 19,1995, 9:02 A.M. Timothy McVeigh took the option of us ever re uniting as friends away. The friday after the bombing, CBS announced the first few names of the victims who'd been identified. I had a baby gate up between my kitchen & living room. As they were announcing the names, I was stepping over the gate, and I heard "Trudy Rigney" Immediately, I fell and started screaming. Evidently, I went into hysterics, my husband could not calm me down to find out why I was screaming. It took calling my mom, and mom, and him 5 full minutes to get "Trudy Rigney died" out of my mouth. It took 3 years for my son, who was then 3, to stop saying "Oka-homa City Bombing mamma, you can cry now" everytime the news would show the picture of the blown out Murrah Building. Oh Trudy ... I have so often wondered ... did you know? Oh how I hope you don't know it happened. How I've prayed that you were just working one minute and in the arms of God the next. The idea, that you'd had to hurt and suffer for a while just breaks my heart. It's been 10 years since you were so violently yanked from my life forever ... but my memories of you will forever be in my heart. You were my first friend in Oklahoma. You were a true friend who loved me enough to take a firm stand. I went to the Memorial a few years ago, I stood there and looked at the clear chair that represents who you are and all I could think of was "I'd rather have her here" I Love you Trudy Rigney. I always will. I miss you. Love Peggikaye
It's now been 11 years and I wish you could see me today Trudy ... my marriage is happy ... Don has decided that God really does have to be first ... and things are going good ... I miss you ... I've heard recently that Jonmichael is married, with kids, and getting baptized soon. I miss you girl!
Monday, April 17, 2006
Shoulder Update
Pearls and Dreams Cathy, thank you for asking! I saw the ortho on Friday. He was quite impressed by my range of motion (completely normal ... far more than I had before surgery) which, he said for 10 days out from surgery was incredible. I thought, given my range of motion, I was going to get out of physical therapy, I thought wrong. I will however, only get 6 weeks PT, instead of 9 to 12 weeks PT. He was going to order ROM (range of motion) and strength building ... so now it's just strength building. I told him I thought I was fine on my own and he informed me otherwise. He said that he'd had to put my shoulder back fully into the 'socket pocket' (love it when docs don't talk doc) where it belonged and he'd like it to stay there for a change. Since my shoulder had been relocated from subluxation more times than counted, dislocation a few times, and he's been the one to put it back in ...and the MRI nor xray showed it wasn't fully in ... he wasn't exactly thrilled to find it not sitting fully in the socket. However, I love PT ... it's working out to me ... call me crazy, I love to exercise. I know, I'm nuts. As long as it's not balance exercises ...and there won't be any for my shoulder ...and since it's strength building not ROM ... I think I'm going to have fun. Stop looking at me like that! I did find out that when they told me to wear the sling "as tolerated'' they did not mean go home, put the sling away and don't pick it back up again. He said, one of these days he'll learn to not use instructions with me like 'as tolerated' ... they meant ...when it's not supported or being used ...use the sling. Opps. That could explain why it still hurts a bit much. hmmm I have full range of motion too ...and they took off the end of my clavical bone ...wonder if that has anything to do with it? oh well ... ;) I tried on a gazillion outfits for Easter on Saturday... yikes! so I'm really sore today. Last pain killers I had left were last night ... tonight, is not a happy night. I don't think the really super hot record breaking temperatures (96) today helped any! This too, shall pass.
Poetry day
Pearls and Dreams
A Life Refined
Into the fire,
My heart is placed.
A trial of patience,
Imperfections erased.
My brain says it's pain,
My heart feels it's healing.
The process not pleasant,
For sin it's revealing.
Struggles through life,
Some not my doing.
Others caused myself,
In sin I sat stewing.
Surrender's involved,
And learning to trust.
Exposing my heart,
Being real is a must.
Let the fire burn hot,
Refining the past.
Examine my heart,
Leaving faith that will last.
Like fine precious metals,
Shining silver and gold.
The fire makes pure,
A heart that was cold.
Refiner's fire burns,
My soul feels it's purpose.
My testimony for God,
Reflecting love Glorious
© Peggikaye Eagler
A Life Refined
Into the fire,
My heart is placed.
A trial of patience,
Imperfections erased.
My brain says it's pain,
My heart feels it's healing.
The process not pleasant,
For sin it's revealing.
Struggles through life,
Some not my doing.
Others caused myself,
In sin I sat stewing.
Surrender's involved,
And learning to trust.
Exposing my heart,
Being real is a must.
Let the fire burn hot,
Refining the past.
Examine my heart,
Leaving faith that will last.
Like fine precious metals,
Shining silver and gold.
The fire makes pure,
A heart that was cold.
Refiner's fire burns,
My soul feels it's purpose.
My testimony for God,
Reflecting love Glorious
© Peggikaye Eagler
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Celebrating Sisterhood & Easter
He is Risen in me.
We are all Sister’s in Christ,
adopted into his family.
An adoption to celebrate,
a privilege to cherish,
and a responsibility to honor.
Titus 2: 3&4
In the same way, teach older women to be holy in their behavior, not speaking against others or enslaved to too much wine, but teaching what is good. 4 Then they can teach the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
When we accept Jesus, an amazing thing happens … not only are our sins forgiven, not only have our feet been put on the path of righteousness, not only do we have life eternal … but a whole new family. The Family of God.
God’s word talks frequently talks about the body of Christ being family.
Galatians 6:10
10 When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.
1 Thess 4: 9
We do not need to write you about having love for your Christian family, because God has already taught you to love each other.
1 Timothy 3:15
Then, even if I am delayed, you will know how to live in the family of God. That family is the church of the living God, the support and foundation of the truth.
When we realize that we are not alone, we are part of a family, a unit … a cooperative that is meant to help each other …the burden becomes less for each of us.
Galatians 6 is a chapter that is frequently referred to when reminding people that they are not alone … Bear ye one another’s burdens is how it is said in the King James. Later in the chapter it tells us that each one should carry his own load.
How many of us, as women, see the latter verse and decide that it cancels out the former verse? The reality is …they are not contradictory, nor exclusive of one another. Carrying your own load is referring to normal, every day things that is expected of those who happen to exist in the human race. What is a normal load for anyone to bear?
I once heard it compared to a backpack and a moving truck. Each one bear his own load …that’s what fits in the back pack …the normal things. The things that are above and beyond, that we’re supposed to ask for help …those are the moving truck things.
Yet …how many of us women, sisters in Christ, carry a moving truck on our backs, loaded, full and over flowing … everywhere we go, every minute of every day because we have not allowed anyone to help us? Because we thought we were supposed to bear our own load.
The problem that comes with carrying your moving truck on your own back ...eventually, it will lead to weakness, and wounds, and even into sin.
Galatians 6: 1-6
1 Brothers and sisters, if someone in your group does something wrong, you who are spiritual should go to that person and gently help make him right again. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin, too. 2 By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks he is important when he really is not, he is only fooling himself. 4 Each person should judge his own actions and not compare himself with others. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done. 5 Each person must be responsible for himself. 6 Anyone who is learning the teaching of God should share all the good things he has with his teacher.
We as we grow, are to help each other grow, to be careful that our own load doesn’t get too heavy, so that sin doesn’t overtake us, so that the temptations of the world don’t weigh us down. When we help each other, by teaching, by encouragement, by training, by holding each other’s hand as we get each other through crisis’ … we are truly obeying the laws of Christ! We will soon realize that not only are our own burdens (backpacks) lighter, but the moving trucks get to where they go faster, and the belongings in the moving trucks has been placed there lovingly and orderly and ready to be dealt with …rather than in a chaotic mess that we’re almost afraid to open the door to deal with it when we DO get to the destination we’re about to arrive at.
Then, Paul takes us one step further … we’re not just to bear our own, and help each other with stuff that’s too big to bear … but when we’ve learned what we know …when we’ve gotten through … when God’s healed our hearts, and given us the wisdom of how to handle a situation … we don’t get to sit on the rocking chair and wait for the Son to return.
We get to share that … to help each other more. To bring up the younger sisters in Christ, to help those who are holding the moving trucks on their backs and don’t know they can put them down (or, are too afraid to).
Galatians 6:6
6 Anyone who is learning the teaching of God should share all the good things he has with his teacher.
Titus 2: 3&4
In the same way, teach older women to be holy in their behavior, not speaking against others or enslaved to too much wine, but teaching what is good. 4 Then they can teach the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
We have the unique opportunity to be Sisters in Christ, a wonderful thing, to be celebrated … and a responsibility to be cherished.
We are all Sister’s in Christ,
adopted into his family.
An adoption to celebrate,
a privilege to cherish,
and a responsibility to honor.
Titus 2: 3&4
In the same way, teach older women to be holy in their behavior, not speaking against others or enslaved to too much wine, but teaching what is good. 4 Then they can teach the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
When we accept Jesus, an amazing thing happens … not only are our sins forgiven, not only have our feet been put on the path of righteousness, not only do we have life eternal … but a whole new family. The Family of God.
God’s word talks frequently talks about the body of Christ being family.
Galatians 6:10
10 When we have the opportunity to help anyone, we should do it. But we should give special attention to those who are in the family of believers.
1 Thess 4: 9
We do not need to write you about having love for your Christian family, because God has already taught you to love each other.
1 Timothy 3:15
Then, even if I am delayed, you will know how to live in the family of God. That family is the church of the living God, the support and foundation of the truth.
When we realize that we are not alone, we are part of a family, a unit … a cooperative that is meant to help each other …the burden becomes less for each of us.
Galatians 6 is a chapter that is frequently referred to when reminding people that they are not alone … Bear ye one another’s burdens is how it is said in the King James. Later in the chapter it tells us that each one should carry his own load.
How many of us, as women, see the latter verse and decide that it cancels out the former verse? The reality is …they are not contradictory, nor exclusive of one another. Carrying your own load is referring to normal, every day things that is expected of those who happen to exist in the human race. What is a normal load for anyone to bear?
I once heard it compared to a backpack and a moving truck. Each one bear his own load …that’s what fits in the back pack …the normal things. The things that are above and beyond, that we’re supposed to ask for help …those are the moving truck things.
Yet …how many of us women, sisters in Christ, carry a moving truck on our backs, loaded, full and over flowing … everywhere we go, every minute of every day because we have not allowed anyone to help us? Because we thought we were supposed to bear our own load.
The problem that comes with carrying your moving truck on your own back ...eventually, it will lead to weakness, and wounds, and even into sin.
Galatians 6: 1-6
1 Brothers and sisters, if someone in your group does something wrong, you who are spiritual should go to that person and gently help make him right again. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin, too. 2 By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks he is important when he really is not, he is only fooling himself. 4 Each person should judge his own actions and not compare himself with others. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done. 5 Each person must be responsible for himself. 6 Anyone who is learning the teaching of God should share all the good things he has with his teacher.
We as we grow, are to help each other grow, to be careful that our own load doesn’t get too heavy, so that sin doesn’t overtake us, so that the temptations of the world don’t weigh us down. When we help each other, by teaching, by encouragement, by training, by holding each other’s hand as we get each other through crisis’ … we are truly obeying the laws of Christ! We will soon realize that not only are our own burdens (backpacks) lighter, but the moving trucks get to where they go faster, and the belongings in the moving trucks has been placed there lovingly and orderly and ready to be dealt with …rather than in a chaotic mess that we’re almost afraid to open the door to deal with it when we DO get to the destination we’re about to arrive at.
Then, Paul takes us one step further … we’re not just to bear our own, and help each other with stuff that’s too big to bear … but when we’ve learned what we know …when we’ve gotten through … when God’s healed our hearts, and given us the wisdom of how to handle a situation … we don’t get to sit on the rocking chair and wait for the Son to return.
We get to share that … to help each other more. To bring up the younger sisters in Christ, to help those who are holding the moving trucks on their backs and don’t know they can put them down (or, are too afraid to).
Galatians 6:6
6 Anyone who is learning the teaching of God should share all the good things he has with his teacher.
Titus 2: 3&4
In the same way, teach older women to be holy in their behavior, not speaking against others or enslaved to too much wine, but teaching what is good. 4 Then they can teach the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,
We have the unique opportunity to be Sisters in Christ, a wonderful thing, to be celebrated … and a responsibility to be cherished.
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