Dr. Suess

"And will you succeed? Yes indeed! Yes indeed! Ninety Eight and Three Quarters guarenteed!"

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Learning more about grieving

A couple of months ago, my psychiatrist noted that I tend to throw important things away. The statement shocked me. But, he was right.

The comment kind of went through me ...why do I do that?
I don't have pictures up, I don't have reminders of my past ... I don't have memories hanging around ... I don't have momento's ... I don't have my trophies ... I don't have the important things that remind me of my successes or failures ... I don't keep the important things in life.

So .. he started the thought process going back then.

Then the issues with grieving came up when Kylie passed away.

So, I'm trying to really deal with grief, in a real way.

My step dad died in 1979. I've posted here many many times about him, so any regular reader of this blog knows how much I've loved him, how much he meant to me. How deeply his death impacted me. But, no picture of him existed in my house. Burried deep in a box, I finally found a picture of him. I got it out, and brushed it off ..and put it in a little frame and put it on the computer desk. Right next to Jessica's bank.

Monday Evening, Benjamin walked up to me. "Mom, who is this?" As he handed me the picture. My heart sank. My beloved Daddy ... this man who's meant more to me than anyone ... my kids know my step dad .. they know the stories ...they know how much I loved him ...but they'd never seen his picture!! How could I have done that to them ..to him?

I've fixed that now. My beloved Step Dad

Daddy is on the desk, smiling at me while I type. His sparkling eyes and his great big smile reminding me just how much he loved me. Unconditional ... and forever.(when we get a scanner up, I'll scan the picture in, this is a picture of the picture)


  1. PK, that was absolutely beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. Your Dad was a handsome man, and the photo shows the kindness in his face.

    Looking forward to seeing the scanned in picture.

    Tons of love and hugs!

  2. YOu are really working it all through!

  3. You look a lot like your dad. He was very nice looking. Sorry I could not do Mother's Day at church. Oh a certain doctor called me today, checking on me.

  4. Wanda, you can't imagine how often I heard that growing up. I was the spitting image of him ...and my step mother.
    Weird to look more like my step father and step mother than my real mother and real father.

    It was ok, though, I was always happy to be mistaken for his child, and for Jeani's child. It was a good thing.

    I'm glad he called you. You scared the fire out of me. Then when you haven't answered my phone calls, you scared me more.

    I love you girlie girl!