Blogger Buddy!

I have a dear blogger friend. Cathy, she is quite the determined woman.

Last year, she participated in an exhausting feat of blogging for 24 hours ... 48 posts in 24 hours ... this year, even after living through the physical exhaustion (Cathy is not the healthiest person on the planet) she is doing it again.

This time, she's blogging for St. Jude's Children's Hospital.

While my friend's baby never went to St. Jude's ... it WAS considered. They were the ones who gave the final diagnosis of ATRT tumor ... and the reason she didn't go was because the doctor's here in Oklahoma City had been St. Jude trained doctor's. She would have gotten the same care at St Judes that she got here. The only difference being, she'd have been away from family and friends.

I can't look at the pictures of St. Judes, because they hurt so dearly. My friend's baby ... St. Jude's is working ... on finding a cure for the ATRT brain cancer ..but they've yet to do so.

Please ... help Cathy's Place, in finding her place in helping to prevent the future Teresa's and Kylie's.

Story Time

November 19, 1987, Don and I applied for a marriage licence.

Don, thought it would be neat to get married on our birthday, since we share a birthday. (November 21). I, however, did NOT want to get married on our birthday, and did not want to get married in November, since my first wedding had taken place in November, I thought that would be ... uncouth.

So, he almost had me talked into it, so we got the license. We were still looking for wedding chapels, and talking to the pastor of the church where Don was attending. We, had assumed, falsely, (and found out AFTER we got the license ...) that in Tulsa Town, there is (or at least was) no such thing as Justice of the Peace ..which was going to be our last resort.

I talked him into waiting till December. But our license was only good for 2 weeks AFTER we got it, so we'd have to get married on the first, second or third. We'd talked to his pastor, who agreed to do it. We had our best man and matron of honor lined up.

Then, on Monday, November 30th, we got a call, the pastor was backing out. We got 2 stories, we never figured out which was the real story ...it really doesn't matter ..one was that he was going out of town on an emergency. The other was this "besides, so and so is complaining that Peggikaye's been married before" (it was a woman whom I'd gone to church with before when I was married before. She also knew the whole story of me being left after 4 months, and it should have been annulled, not divorce! Granted, she didn't know WHY I was left, but she was aware that legally, we qualified for an annulment) So, they were this high donation to the church, high powered couple. We were this low income ... nothing ..and we think he just gave into pressure. That, is neither here, nor there other than, that is how we came to get to being married where we did.

So, Monday night, we've got just till Thursday to find where we can get married. We start to call ..chapels were WAY out of our budget ... we finally found one.
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Most people don't realize they can do weddings. I never knew that they did. Never have heard of anyone else getting married there either.

The Salvation Army Chapel.

So, we're supposed to meet our Best Man and Matron of Honor at 2pm on December 2nd at the Salvation Army in down town Tulsa.

Every girls dream.

When we left, we called our friends, and they were on their way. So, we get there, and the chaplain tells us that our matron of honor needs us to call. We were very confused ...but we called.

The best man had fallen on the ice on the way out to the car, and slipped a disc in his back. (he wound up being laid up for over 2 months!)

We, had no guests coming, there were no alternatives for witnesses. Now what? We had one day till the license expired.

The chaplain said that there were always 3 people on site at all times, they could be the witnesses, but first, he wanted to do some 'pre marital counseling'.

OK.

So, after about 45 minutes, he calls in the witnesses.

One guy was HUGELY obese ... could barely walk. He was homeless, but volunteered at the center and used their shelters.
The other guy, extremely thin, and was missing his right arm. A war vet, homeless, who also lived at the shelter and volunteered at the shelter.

These, were our witnesses. They stood beside us. They stood straight, and they smiled through the whole ceremony. You'd have thought, that we'd been life long friends. They knew, they were being asked to do something that was normally an honor bestowed on people close to someone's heart. They took their job of being witnesses to our marriage quite seriously!

We finished the ceremony, they signed their names ..we signed ...the minister signed ..and we all gave each other handshakes and hugs ...and Don and I walked out the door. Mr. & Mrs. Donald Eagler.



Married in a Salvation Army Chapel.

Don said "Wow! It's for real!"
I said "Who was my maid of honor?"

Twenty years later ... we're still married. I keep thinking of the show Bridezilla (although, not having cable, I've never seen an episode) and thinking how much emphasis they put ... and how little we had ..and yet ... the ceremony worked ... just as well (maybe better?)

So, on December 2, 2007 ... we're going to renew our vows. With all we've been through, the better and the worse ... the house, the sick kids, the health issues and the struggles in our marriage, we can't think of anything better to do.

This time ..we'll have a wedding. A little closer to the one that this girl ... and this girl dreamed about ...

Bravery and Elephants

"It was the hardest week of my life. It was the best week of my life!"

Those were the first words out of the mouth of my 17 year old when I picked him up from the church today after he'd spent a week as a CIT (counselor in training)at church kids camp.

When we got into the car, he said "There is nothing more incredible in the world, than 150 kids singing praises to God"

Those are words ..that this mother was very proud to hear.

I'd spoken with the counselor he'd worked with. I'd asked Doug how he'd done, and his first words were not what a mom wants to hear "he's great! He's fantastic! What a kid you've got there!"

But rather "It was a growing experience!"

uh oh!

Then, he pulled me aside and told me the story, which, will remain between myself and Doug. Suffice it to say, while it was the best week in my sons life, it was, a hard week ...and he grew by leaps and bounds!

My son, has some deep fears ... they are a result of living with OCD. One of the worst ... heights. Last year, proudly watched him temporarily conquer them in order to participate in building the house as he worked on the roof. White as a ghost, and often sick to his stomach. Many times shaking. He got up there with his friends and the other workers. He did it. As afraid as he was ...because he wanted to build his house.

Well, his counselor took him out to a rope climbing course, not knowing his fears ...and not knowing he had OCD talked Samuel into climbing the ropes. Samuel, had a melt down ...and ... then Samuel swung from the ropes to get down!!!!

I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes wondering how many times I've chosen to climb down the post rather than swing through the air. I'm proud of him. Very.

He really really enjoyed camp. As hard as it was ... he really enjoyed it. Watching kids make a decision for Christ, watching kids choose to work hard to win the 'golden plunger' to get the cleanest room. Watching kids mature ... and watching some maturity in himself.


Then tonight ... my husband and I, wanted to say thank you to some friends who'd been so helpful and supportive of us during our stay in the hospital. (um, er ..HIS stay in the hospital rather). So, we invited them to eat with us at the Elephant Bar Restaurant.

Now, after I got over my confusion ... in town, there is an Elephant Run ... I never knew that Elephant Run was a bar ... I always thought it was a restaurant.

So, when my friend sent out the email invites for us ... I freaked ...she sent out the invites to Elephant BAR ... OH NO!!! ELEPHANT RUN!!!!!!!

So she comes back and says "YOU WANT TO GO TO THE BAR?" (kids were invited, church small group event as well as thank you event!)

NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooo

So ...then I find out that Elephant BAR is the restaurant ..and Elephant Run is the bar ... go figure. I'm still confused.

Ok, so we go tonight ...and there were 20 or so people who showed up. It was absoluetly incredible ... lots of fun ...and loud! We didn't get to speak with everyone, but everyone had a wonderful time. It was nice to have everyone together ...and it was a great time. It was nice to look down the table and see "these people all came ...and helped us, repeatidly!!" How wonderful to know we are truly loved ..and we truly love.

It was also good to see them out of the hospital. *smile*

Tagged

I have been tagged by two friends ... YMX buddies as well as 'invisible friends' *grin* So, I get to kill 2 birds with one stone *BIG GRIN*
So, for Patti and Deneice ...here goes :

Rules to play:

1. players start with 8 random facts about themselves.
2. those who are tagged should post these rules and their 8 random facts.
3. players should tag 8 other people and notify them they have been tagged.


1. I played volleyball and softball and track and field in high school.

2. I played the clarinet ... but I was awful. My nickname in band ... was Jerry. As in the mouse ... from Tom and Jerry. (SQUEAK!!!!!!!!)

3. I can't stand the color purple!!!!!!!

4. I have discovered that I think I like cats more than dogs. My 5 year old neice was here the other day and she was trying to make my cats play with her. They, of coarse, would not be forced. She informed me that I needed to get a dog who would play no matter what. Dogs, were more fun, playful and less boring.

At that point, I realized that I actually liked the quietness of my cats.

5. I love to cook. I don't like to eat. At all.

6. I love to be alone!

7. I love old hymns and new praise and worship music.

8. I don't like to be the center of attention ... at all.

Tag 8 people ... hmmm I may have to think about that for a day or so and get back to it.

Brain Drain



When people hear the term "Brain Drain" they usually think of one of two terms ... they either think of economic terms ... Wikipedia's definition is as follows:

Brain drain can occur either when individuals who study abroad and complete their education do not return to their home country, or when individuals educated in their home country emigrate for higher wages or better opportunities. The second form is arguably worse, because it drains more resources from the home country.

This phenomenon is perhaps most problematic for developing nations, where it is widespread. In these countries, higher education and professional certification are often viewed as the surest path to escape from a troubled economy or difficult political situation.

Or ...they think of spending mind numbing hours doing nothing but playing video games or reading trashy romance novels or watching the 'boob tube' that does nothing to build the brain ..thus draining it of any viable intelligence ... no exercise ... intellectual or physical ...nothing gained ... nothing expended ... nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Brain Drain.

I've been thinking of the term Brain Drain lately in a different way ... I've been intentionally looking for ways that I can, in fact, practice 'brain drain'.

*blink*

What? Why? Who would do such a thing? Aren't we as American's working toward NOT being Brain Drains? Being productive ... etc etc ... yea ...but ...

I need rest ... however, when I rest ...and just rest ... I go nuts. Absolutely nuts.

So, then I thought of what I needed to do ...was ACTIVELY REST! (stop staring at me like that Moof and Cathy!!!!!)

Let me explain.

I need to let my body rest and my brain destress. But ...just 'resting' would often cause me more anxiety than the *resting* was doing me good. Now, I know many who read this will actually identify with that concept *cough* (see who I told to stop staring at me!!!)

I started to picture a drain in a sink ... it stops the stuff from going down the drain that you don't want to go down the drain, but allows the water to go down to the sewer. Suddenly I realized ... I needed activities that allow me to BRAIN DRAIN.

I need things that allow the stress, the useless information to be filtered from my brain, while hanging onto the information, and the important stuff ... and sometimes ... sitting up at the computer, or going for coffee with a friend, sitting and doing puzzles, reading a book .. and sometimes sleeping ... is in fact doing the Brain Drain activity ... it just depends on what is needed at the time.

Let the junk go down the drain, zone out .. relax ...and don't worry about the
'supposed to be's' (I'm supposed to be sleeping ... I'm supposed to be folding laundry ... I'm supposed to be writing ... I'm supposed to be laying down ... I'm supposed to be ... I'm supposed to be ...) talk with a friend, IM with a friend, read a blog, write a blog .. write a poem ... do what the brain says comes naturally ...

then, when I am relaxed, the stuff that's left in the drain, can be better sorted out rinsed off ... and put where it belongs.

I do hope this post made some sense .... or maybe it needs to go down the drain! ;)

We, are home at last.

They did not do the bed. Medicare and their rules *rolling eyes*. I guess it's still something being considered for future ...

He has his bi pap machine, walker, and oxygen.
There is the funky machine that will generate the oxygen for his bipap machine, give him oxygen in the house AND fill his portable oxgyen tanks.

He has a 4 wheel walker, with a seat and brakes. It's midnight blue, which, really, looks purple in the wrong light. It, is just wrong!

Tomorrow, home health will get here about 10 am. He will get home health 3 times a week and PT and OT 3 times a week for 2 weeks, then we'll see. He follows up with PCP, neuro and pulmo ... PCP in 1 week, neuro and pulmo in 2 weeks.

The boys decided to spend the night at their friends house. We have mixed feelings about that. It is nice to have a quiet evening at home, just the two of us, but part of us are going "your father just got home!!!"

oh well, such is the life of parents!

Home, Sweet Home!

42 days ... end in sight.

It's been 42 days since Don first went into the hospital. That's 6 weeks.

He was taken by ambulance to the ER, then admitted to the med/surg floor (7 tower) from there, he was moved to the ICU, from there, he was moved back to the med/surg floor, 7 tower again. Then he was moved to 9 tower when they closed 7 Tower down for remodeling. Then, he was moved to the Long Term Acute Care facility (L Tac) where he spent longer than I can remember ... and from there, to rehab.

We have a discharge date. Friday! July 6th. Our Independence Day!

Everyone keeps asking me if I'm ready ... will I be ready. Uh ... YES!!!!!!

Yea, I know caretaking at home will bring a whole new set of issues, but he will be here ... and I will wake up in the morning and see HIM, and I can walk into another room and see him .... and we will talk, and laugh and cry and argue at will ... and there will be no miles ... or phones ...

I can't wait to see him sitting on the couch ... with the kitty cats in his lap, just sitting there watching a show I have no interest in while he bugs me about spending time talking to my invisible friends on the internet ... and we smile, just because we're together ... our family, all in the same room. Changed forever by the last 6 weeks ... but still, together.