Sunny Days by Jars of Clay

I have just recently gotten DSL to replace my dial up. Since I've frequently shared songs and what they mean to me, having the ability to actually POST the songs ... is a really exciting adventure for me. I hope, I don't wear you out with it.

Please, Bear with me.

This song ... Sunny Days ... is one that I'd heard for several years ... as I was praying over my family ...and my marriage that was failing miserably ... would things ever ever be ok?

I hadn't heard it for a while ... and the other day, I was driving down the road. Frustrated that I am where I am at in therapy. Am I EVER going to get to where I need to be. Will there ever be a time where my heart doesn't break ... will there ever be a time where I can be vunerable, show the real me, and trust the therapist to keep me together while God does the healing?

Can I bear the pain that I'm going through. I want to turn and run ... it's too much, too much pain ...it's taking too long ...

and then, I hear this song ... and I'm reminded of the years of marriage ... 18 years of praying ... 18 years of praying for my family ... 18 years for the success of my marriage ...for the heart of my husband ... and ... 18 years of never being sure if it would be ok. Just only having God to cling to ...

Then ... one sunny day ... the clouds rolled away ... my husband decided Jesus was first ... and our lives took that miraculous rollercoaster of life ...only this time ... it's been a FUN ride, enjoyment, screams of delight and laughter fill our house ... Peace reigns the Eaglers ... we will ... enjoy ... soon and enjoy ... it took 18 years ...but we're here .... and we're safe ... and it's a Sunny Day for my family!

So ...what does that translate to other areas of my life? If he did it, for my marriage, for my family ...would he not do the ssame for my heart? Regardless of whether I can see the pattern or not ... to trust, to pray ..to cling to the Father ... to look to God ... to trust that Sunny day is coming ...

Winter ... the frozen wasteland of memories unwanted, locked away in a cold pocket in the heart ... unwilling to be thawed ...but working it's way out anyway ... and it mets ... ice turns to water ... water flows through everything. The thing, that I thought so hard to keep away. That I fought so hard to never acknowlege it again ... is back ... only, it's melted and it's flown through everything ...and is in need of attention ....

You can loose your mind through this process ...even the song writers admit to it!! But ... it is then that it will be your heart that you find.

I need to take the same love, the same determination that I applied to my family, the same strenght of love and tenacity to pray for my marriage and faimly ... and apply that to myself. To apply it to recovery ... to eating ... to not restiricting ... to healing. To being ... the real me.

Jars Of Clay - Sunny Days Lyrics

Sunny days keepin' the clouds away
I think we're coming to a clearing and a brighter day

So far away. Still I think they say
The wait will make the heart grow stronger or fonder
I can't quite remember anyway

So if you're waitin' for love
Well it's a promise I'll keep
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Then time will never matter

Winter, Spring... is what love can truly bring
Ice turns to water, water flows to everything
You can lose your mind, maybe then your heart you'll find
I hope you won't give up what's moving you inside

If the car won't start, when you turn the key
When the music comes on, all your cold, cold heart can do is skip a beat

It's a promise I'll keep
When you're waitin' for love
If you don't mind believing that it changes everything
Then time will never matter