1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
The Lord, has guided me this summer. When I needed support while Don was in the hospital, I was not alone. Our finances ... instead of being challenged, were just fine. (we even came out ahead!)
I knew, that I had many people to call if I needed to ... that would come to me 24/7 for the entire 45 days. The issue wasn't, would I have someone, but rather ...who should I call? I made many calls during that time period ... and I still didn't call everyone I could have called.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
There have been times that my mother has been in the hospital, or that I have been ... and the care has been; shall we say - - less than adequate. It felt unsafe to leave my mom in the hospital alone.
This time, with Don, not one time did I feel like I was not leaving my husband in good hands. I could go home to rest, and sleep every night.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
More than once, I felt like I could not go on for even 5 more minutes. All it took was a prayer, and I had a sudden realization, that God was with me... regardless of how bad it got ... no matter scary it got ... with just a "Lord, I'm tired" I would instantly know, HE was my strength.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
This, was the theme for the summer. I have never been so aware of how true this Psalm was actually until I actually spent a few days, wondering "would my husband make it?" "Will I be a widow?" "How can he leave me now?"
And yet, with all the sadness, and concern ... there was an overwhelming sense of peace. A Peace that cannot be explained.
Don and I have always had slightly differing opinions on what to do for 'living will' situations. I've never really known if I could go through with his wishes. Yet, we'd talked about it so much ... I knew exactly what to do, and when ... what to agree to, what to question ... and when we had the discussion with the doctor of "IF this doesn't work, what measures need to be taken?"
I was able to talk to them, calmly, and with assurance that I knew what my husband wanted ...and that I would be able to follow through, with God at my side.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
There were a few situations that I had to stand and advocate for my husband. They, were not enemies, by any stretch of the imagination. (well, wait, when he got home I guess we got into that scenerio since we've had to fire TWO home health agencies!) I was able to do so, with assurance that I knew what I was talking about. I knew that God gave me enough assertiveness to get through the situation. More than once, my husband became confused, questioning what was going on, frustrated and angry ..and I was able to keep the peace so that they did not become enemies.
This, is not, in my personality. This, was through the prayer, and the guidance of my Shephard that I was able to do so.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
We dedicated our house to God when we got it. It was such a wonderful thing to bring my husband home! To see him now walking on his own, using the walker at times, and not at others ... the oxygen not being constantly on (which is ok)and seeing his strength return bit by bit, day by day ... it is good to dwell in this house with my husband ... and to call our house, the house of the Lord.