One word. No explanations.
1. Yourself: growing
2. Your spouse: MINE
3. Your hair: thin
4. Your mother: sigh
5. Your father: no comment
6. Your favorite item: elephant collection
7. Your dream last night: nightmare
8. Your favorite drink: coffee
9. Your dream car: Bug
10. The room you are in: kitchen
11. Your ex: forgiven
12. Your fear: won't say
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Christlike
14. Who you hung out with last night: family
15. What you're not: brave
16. Muffins: none
17: One of your wish list items: Books!
18: Time: Private
19. The last thing you did: searched
20. What you are wearing: pajamas
21. Your favorite weather: cool
22. Your favorite book: Little Women
23. The last thing you ate: Chocolate Milk
24. Your life: Interesting
25. Your mood: anxious
26. Your best friend: BRAVE
27. What you're thinking about right now: Friendship
28. Your car: Contour
29. What you are doing at the moment: fidgiting
30. Your summer: busy
31. Your relationship status: MARRIED
32. What is on your TV: PBS
33. What is the weather like: HOT
34. When was the last time you laughed: 2 weeks ago

Hat tip to Biscotti's Brain ..this one, was just too interesting to pass up. I didn't do a good job of sticking to the one word ..but ... I've never followed directions well ;)

Introducing!

It is common in the blog world, when you know someone who is starting a new blog, or, you come across a new blog that you like to introduce that blogger to your blog friends. I've had the pleasure of introducing a few blogs in my time.

This time, it is a particular pleasure to introduce this blogger, because, not only do I KNOW this blogger, but I am related to this blogger. By choice, not by blood. *grin*

This blogger, is, my sister law, Pam. Healing Herbals Inner Sage

Her heading reads :
Healing Herbals Inner Sage
The workings of an herbalist, including the growing, foraging and making of products. I believe in and strive to live by the teachings of our Grandmothers, both those of my Native American and European ancestry. Many call these the Wise Women, Elder or Crone ways. After talking with the Creator, each of us should tune in to our inner voice, my listening brought me to this path. So listen, as I share my Inner Sage www.healingherbals.org

And her profile reads
I am a 40 something woman who loves herbs, writing, making products and hearing how they work, reading, and learning Everything I do, I have to keep in mind, that I really do have rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia and disc deteriation, as much as I would like to forget those things. This is the first year my 13 yr old will be attending public school, so all my reservations and excitement may come out in words!! I believe in gardening, composting, buying and eating locally, sustainability, & urban homesteading. I love nature (except biting things !) the moon, running water, the wind and all things living. I try to live the way I want to be treated.

She does not have a picture up yet, BUT ... I have pictures :)


This, is Pam with her VAST array of products. I have a personal ad to the side that I placed. Not at Pam's request, but at my own behest, because I so firmly believe in her products. They are great! Many of them were developed when I called Pam and said "HELP! I have this need!"
The acne was developed for my son Samuel ...but alas, we cannot tell you how he likes it, because ... the kid won't use it. He won't use a two step process, so he has yet to find anything 'that works' ... yes, Pam, you may strangle said nephew now. However, younger nephew of hers, SWEARS by her acne product, and rarely has more than 3 pimples ... and he uses it faithfully. Samuel's acne is bad enough to go to a dermatologist. (however, I REFUSE to take him to a dermatologist until he's tried to do over the counter or Aunt Pam's stuff faithfully!It's not TRULY bad enough to go if he's not TRIED to take care of it.) So, you be the judge ... 3 pimples with treatment ... acne without it ...hmmmmmmmmm

ok, this was supposed to be an introduction to her blog, not an advertisement for her products .. i could go on and on and on about her pain salve, her healing salve (I describe it to friends as a cross between ... neosporin and hydrocortosone cream ...if you'd use one of those ... you can use this!)

Back to the pictures ... this WONDERFUL Portrait! was taken by my nephew of Pam and her brother, my husband, at either our house dedication or the house warming party last November. He changed the background to it, to give it a portrait type background.



I don't have any pictures of Pam and I ..however, I'm sure at our renewal ceremony in December, I will get one. This time, Pam will be at our wedding ...unlike last time ... no one was at our wedding ... Pam was on our honeymoon (it was at her house) but she can't come on this honeymoon!

So, please, go visit Pam's new blog, and give her a warm welcome. And then, go visit her website for her products and if you're interested (you should be!) BUY some! You will not be let down.

Personality Plus (or in hiding as the case may be ....)

Hat tip to my friend Jeff for this gem .... telling me what I already knew ...

The test says I'm an introvert! How dare they call this homebody an introvert! hmmph!

Important information!

http://illnessministry.ning.com/video/video/show?id=847406%3AVideo%3A5

Double Crush

Don had an EMG last week. The news was crushing to say the least. They wanted to find out the cause of his pain and numbness since he'd been in the hospital ... and they wanted to find out if maybe there was some carpel or ulner(?) tunnel nerve going on. Maybe some neuralgia.

What they found out was that it was polyneuralgia ...and that the damage was double crushed ... at the neck, the elbow, and the wrist (depending on the nerve).

The nerves are permanently damaged, and decompressing them, will not make a difference. They will not get better.

The doctor, today, was quite discouraged. He said that it frustrated him, because, if it was his brother, he'd be scared, because his scoliosis is 'messed up, really messed up, nightmare messed up'.

This is really the first doctor to talk to us in REAL terms.

We are going to check out a Dr. Lenke in St. Louis. The orthopedic surgeon suggested that we get copies of all his xrays, his MRI's, EMG's all his reports, lung function tests and write him a letter ... and just say "can you help?" So far, Dr. Lenke is the only surgeon we've found that will even approach the type of scoliosis that Don has. (if anyone knows anything about him ... please please please post or email me!!!!!!!!!!!! good or bad ..or indifferent, even if it's just to say, yeah, I've heard of him!)

As for me, I'm exhausted. I've been going to my therapist week after week .. and she looks at me and sighs ... I will have to tell her next week though that ... really, aside from the Don issues ... the other medical stuff we've faced this year ...really aren't that unusual. I'm always tired. I'm always hurting. Nothing new here. I just was getting more rest because Don was doing more ... and helping a lot. So, I'm really not any sicker.

I think my life overwhelms her at times. She's going to have to get over that. I need her help to get beyond my issues ... and to do that, she's going to have to get beyond my current every day crisis' that seem to happen every day. Those have been on going for 18 years ...they seem like a big deal to her ...but for me, they are par for the coarse ... I realize that concerns her ... and that she lives with chronic illness herself ...and that she had a mother with chronic illness ...but ... for me, it's just her times 3 ... so ... big deal ... it's my life, my cards I've been dealt. I need to deal with what's caused the eating disorder ... the day to day junk ..is always going to be there. If she tries to deal with that first ...we'll never get to what's underneath.

The boys started school already last year. My oldest is a Senior, and my baby is a Freshman!!! Geesh ... time flies. It just wasn't that long ago that I took my son to kindergarten at Little Light House and watched him toddle into class with his back pack ... with his big eyes ...and those glasses ... and that huge smile ... and now ... he's in high school! Where, did the time go?

Psalm 23 and the summer of 2007

1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. 3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. 4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. 5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. 6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.


1 The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

The Lord, has guided me this summer. When I needed support while Don was in the hospital, I was not alone. Our finances ... instead of being challenged, were just fine. (we even came out ahead!)

I knew, that I had many people to call if I needed to ... that would come to me 24/7 for the entire 45 days. The issue wasn't, would I have someone, but rather ...who should I call? I made many calls during that time period ... and I still didn't call everyone I could have called.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

There have been times that my mother has been in the hospital, or that I have been ... and the care has been; shall we say - - less than adequate. It felt unsafe to leave my mom in the hospital alone.

This time, with Don, not one time did I feel like I was not leaving my husband in good hands. I could go home to rest, and sleep every night.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

More than once, I felt like I could not go on for even 5 more minutes. All it took was a prayer, and I had a sudden realization, that God was with me... regardless of how bad it got ... no matter scary it got ... with just a "Lord, I'm tired" I would instantly know, HE was my strength.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

This, was the theme for the summer. I have never been so aware of how true this Psalm was actually until I actually spent a few days, wondering "would my husband make it?" "Will I be a widow?" "How can he leave me now?"

And yet, with all the sadness, and concern ... there was an overwhelming sense of peace. A Peace that cannot be explained.

Don and I have always had slightly differing opinions on what to do for 'living will' situations. I've never really known if I could go through with his wishes. Yet, we'd talked about it so much ... I knew exactly what to do, and when ... what to agree to, what to question ... and when we had the discussion with the doctor of "IF this doesn't work, what measures need to be taken?"
I was able to talk to them, calmly, and with assurance that I knew what my husband wanted ...and that I would be able to follow through, with God at my side.



5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

There were a few situations that I had to stand and advocate for my husband. They, were not enemies, by any stretch of the imagination. (well, wait, when he got home I guess we got into that scenerio since we've had to fire TWO home health agencies!) I was able to do so, with assurance that I knew what I was talking about. I knew that God gave me enough assertiveness to get through the situation. More than once, my husband became confused, questioning what was going on, frustrated and angry ..and I was able to keep the peace so that they did not become enemies.

This, is not, in my personality. This, was through the prayer, and the guidance of my Shephard that I was able to do so.



6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

We dedicated our house to God when we got it. It was such a wonderful thing to bring my husband home! To see him now walking on his own, using the walker at times, and not at others ... the oxygen not being constantly on (which is ok)and seeing his strength return bit by bit, day by day ... it is good to dwell in this house with my husband ... and to call our house, the house of the Lord.

Antiquities

So, Yesterday, I took my youngest son, my BABY up to the high school (sort of, 9th and 10th grade only in the school) to pick up his schedule.

Today, I took my oldest son, who is still my BABY, to the other high school (11th and 12th grade only) to pick up his schedule.

My youngest is a freshman, my oldest a senior. I, am now the mother of 2 high school students! *shock*

I then, wanted to get an appraisal on my kitchen table. I have a very unique kitchen table. Solid Maple, and my parents bought it at an antique store when I was a year old. It's not a normal table at all, round (not oval) and it is SOLID maple. Heavy and beautiful.

So, I stopped at an Antique store, it was obvious that she didn't have furniture, but I thought she might know who could do appraisals (the answer was a *no* ...what????)

My son, just found a new hobby in life. Antiquing! He loved the history ..and he found a lot of little things that he loved. One, he collects hats, and he found an old, spanish, wool bull fighters cap! He can afford it after he gets his allowance.

The other, is, he likes to collect military stuff. Doesn't matter what branch, and it can be a pin, a pen, a bracelet, arm band ...doesn't matter ... he loves it. Well, he is also a HUGE M*A*S*H fan. We walked into the second store, and they had an old Army Jacket, obviously real, with the name "Pearce" on it (obviously, it's Pierce in MASH, but hey! Close enough for government work!)

Turned out, that for pants and jacket, they only wanted $5!!!!!! The guy was discharged in 1964 and passed away right after coming home from Viet Nam. The owner of his belongings does not want them ...at all ..and is just selling them! WOW.
So, he has them hung on hangers and hung on the wall right now till we figure out a way to display them.

The hardest part (as well as a fun part) was seeing my entire childhood in the antique stores! "We had these plates!"
"We had these glasses!"
"We had this mixing bowl!" (we HAVE THAT MIXING BOWL AND YOU WANT $35 bucks for it? I'm USING MINE ???? um ...er .. uh ... maybe not anymore!!!)
"We had this ..."

I think I said that about 100 times. I could have restocked my childhood kitchen from those 2 stores! What is my childhood doing in an ANTIQUE STORE???

I did see a few things I will go back and get. They held a lot of meaning to me as a child ...and ...well, to have something just like them ... will be very special!