It will be 29 years since I've celebrated Christmas with my step father. I miss him still. I am starting to understand ... that I will never stop missing him. He was the core of what is good in me.
In 4th grade, my Dad asked my mom to make me a robe. He asked her to make me a princess robe. Because, I deserved to feel like a princess. (he asked her to make it in pink. If you'll note, it is in her favorite color purple, not the color pink that he asked her to do. Which, for those that have read my blog for a while, you know I dislike the color purple ...this, kind of thing has a lot to do with my dislike for the color purple).
My Daddy thinking I deserved the princess robe, shiney, with the princess cut, full flowy bottom ...when I was alone, I'd twirl ..and twirl ...and I'd feel like the princess he intended for me to feel.
The previous Christmas had been TERRIBLE!!! I'd snuck into the shed and found where they were hiding the presents! I knew every single solitary present I was getting. Not a surprise in the bunch. I thought I'd accomplished a lot by finding these gifts! I was smart!
But there were no surprises for me (except ... the coal in my stocking!!! YES! They did that!!) and on Christmas morning as I unwrapped each known gift, the elation I had experienced every year ...just wasn't there. I was sooo disappointed. Nothing felt right. It was a lesson learned .... and ... well. From then on, I learned that it was far more fun to wait than to know.
I'll never forget the tears in Daddy's eyes as he saw the disappointment in my eyes. Maybe that's why he wanted my 4th grade Christmas to be so special?
That was so very long ago ... now my oldest is 18 and my youngest is 16 ... and soon, they'll be off with their own lives. Hopefully ..they'll think back to times of memories of presents of surprise (or the time Samuel snuck a peek and it wasn't such a surprise and how hard that was to pretend ...and what a let down that was! Especially with what a special present it was!!)
We're going unique this year. It should be fun ... Cornish Game hens, acorn squash, Sweet Potato Casserole (not candied yams! with manderine oranges not marshmallows) and garlic mashed potatoes. My chef to be 16 year old planned the menu. The Cornish game hens will be flavored with an orange sauce.
Menu shouldn't change too awful much, but ... I am giving Don a huge Better Homes and Gardens cook book ...Anniversary Version ...so, after he and Benjamin get their hands on it ..who knows what will be actually cooked?