So, after years of walling off and going numb the week of Jessica's birthday, a few years ago, with the death of my friends daughter, I knew it was time to mourn her and at the same time learn to celebrate the brief time she was a part of my life.
Last year, my friend went with me to pick out a bracelet with Jessica's initials and date of birth on it.
This year, I wondered what I'd do and decided to blog first thing in the morning, then release a balloon before class that evening.
I got up, I posted the tribute and then, as I do, I posted a link to twitter that I blogged.
I got immediate feedback ... twitters, direct messages, face book private messages and emails ... all saying "you've touched my heart " "you told my story" "I lost a daughter" "I lost a son"
Suddenly, yesterday, it seemed that my grief was shared ...and there is truth that says that a grief shared is a grief lessened.
I've been learning the truth of the idea that as I tell you my story, I heal, you heal. As you tell me your story, you heal, I heal. It is in the sharing of the stories that healing takes place.
On my way to get the balloon I thought of KylieBug (my friends daughter) I thought of those on Twitter and FB that had messaged me. I thought of the few others that I've known that have lost a child. So I got a balloon for Jessica, and one for Dr. Snit's child, and one for Kyle, and 1 for the person who DM'd me that she'd lost twin sons, and Dr. Gunter's son, and one for my niece who we never got to meet ...and one for the twitter friend who had 3 miscarriages and 3 failed adoptions ...
I took pictures of the individual balloons, and shared them ... and I tied them to a post so they could be seen together ... then, I let the group fly ... and I saw all our babies hearts together. I knew then, that I wasn't alone ...and neither was Jessica.
I have been amazed, humbled and encouraged by the outpouring of love that has come from this.
I'm grateful that others shared their stories with me, I'm grateful that they allowed me to experience this and I'm grateful they shared with me in this day!
For the babies we all loved and still hold close in our hearts, there will always be a bit of sadness,m sometimes a lot of sadness ...but all of us ..now know that we, and our babies, are not alone.